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lusciouslips7369 57 C
36  Articoli
Blow Job gone wrong   15/9/2021

As we are laying in bed. Me sucking his cock him slamming the dildo into my pussy. We been at it for 20 plus minutes. I had already came 2 times. He wanted 3. I raised my hips I was getting close he said ya suck it I going to cum. I wrapped my lips around the head and went into suction mode. He was pumping at my mouth when he jerked away and Shot Cum straight ...


1 Commenti, 28 Visite, 1 Voti ,2.40 Punteggio
Lost_Cause_69 51 U
6  Articoli
Lunch would be ready......   26/6/2021

A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?" Her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about puberty, menstruation, erections, wet-dreams...and he thinks, what the hell, and goes on to tell her the works. He covers a ...


2 Commenti, 247 Visite, 21 Voti ,6.84 Punteggio
vibrator   26/6/2021

we were having a party one night with a group of friends. we kept hearing this weird humming sound coming from my room. we went to go investigate and to my horror one of our friends apparently went into our room into my nightstand and got out one of my vibrators. they were all sitting around on the floor with it turned on watching it vibrate across the ...


3 Commenti, 277 Visite, 9 Voti ,2.57 Punteggio
spedandpurple 52,1943 C
23  Articoli
"the bf's "   24/6/2021

My boyfriend and I live together. He has an eleven year old that doesnt. Sounds simple enough heh? Well it's not!!!! One of the weekends he had her, we were in our bedroom, thinking she was asleep and began to fool around...with the door closed of course. And just so you know how uncomfortable the situation was ..we were practicing oral sex...i had performed my half and was allowing him ...


2 Commenti, 705 Visite, 20 Voti ,1.08 Punteggio
Kycre8iveman 71 U
0  Articoli
My Date From Hell!   24/6/2021

Written by: KyCre8iveGuy

NOW THE STORY YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ, MAY SEEM TOTALLY WEIRD AND COMPLETELY CRAZY…BUT HAND OVER MY HEART…IT’S THE COMPLETE TRUTH!!

I met a young lady on a Transgendered website. She was 35-years-old, had long blonde, beautiful hair and the face and body of a Goddess. We chatted for a while on the website and through personal emails. Eventually, we ...


6 Commenti, 297 Visite, 39 Voti ,4.62 Punteggio
LittleVJ 55 D
21  Articoli
A Cold Nose   23/6/2021

Max was my dachshund, I spoiled that dog. I let him sleep on the bed he used to like to cuddle up. <br> I started dating a new guy, Max was a little suspicious of my new beau, but was reasonably friendly. <br> The first time we had sex at my place we were in my bed. Max was asleep in the frontroom in his basket by the TV. The sex was hot and focused and at one point he ...


1 Commenti, 805 Visite, 36 Voti ,5.48 Punteggio
rm_SweetMonteSS 56 C
5  Articoli
The nite our found our handcuffs...lol   23/6/2021

The and I had gone to my moms for a couple of weeks in the summer for a mini vaction...well when we got back my hubby missed me so much he decided tonite he was gonna handcuff me to the bed and make up for the last 2weeks...In the morning we all got up...my hubby and I were getting ready for work when my oldest (8 at the time) came in the bathroom and said "mommy, why are there handcuffs ...


1 Commenti, 910 Visite, 28 Voti ,4.68 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
4 sons   23/6/2021

A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the youngest had black hair, dark eyes, and was short.

The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me - is our youngest my ?"

The wife replied, "I swear on ...


2 Commenti, 202 Visite, 2 Voti
rm_Morocco1982 42 U
9  Articoli
Time to rock out with your cock out!   18/6/2021

Last night, I was actually having sex. Now, what made this a memorable experience, besides me having sex, is that AC/DC's "TNT" was playing. And for the first time in my life, I had rhythm. That whole, "women to the left of me/women to the right" thing got my dick harder than it's ever been. So afterwards, while lying in bed, basking in the afterglow and listening to woman lie to me ...


2 Commenti, 230 Visite, 5 Voti ,2.16 Punteggio
iron_butterfly21 40 D
2  Articoli
arousal   18/6/2021

Many people may suppose that the question of the title is a stupid one, given that the answer is so obvious: women have breasts for feeding babies. In fact, the question is a good one, because it is a mystery why the vast majority of women has breasts. Most women are, at this moment, not lactating, and yet they have breasts. If breasts were merely for feeding babies, then ...


1 Commenti, 227 Visite, 3 Voti ,1.96 Punteggio
fugglebuddyMD 59 U
1  Articolo
Top Ten Warning Signs that the Profile is a Fake   4/12/2020

One of my "kinks" these days is weeding out the various fake profiles that pop up in AdultFriendFinder now and then. So, from the home office in Ypsilanti, Michigan, here are the Top Ten Warning Signs that the Profile is a Fake <br><br> 10. The writer spels and speaks english goodly . 9. Uses a photo of a woman who should be a model 8. Uses a photo of a woman who actually IS a model ...


2 Commenti, 45 Visite, 3 Voti ,1.47 Punteggio
Illbcnu6996 35 U
5  Articoli
Anal   14/8/2020

Care share an anal experiences that have gone bad?


0 Commenti, 23 Visite, 0 Voti
Brownandboard 55 U
16  Articoli
?? Why is ??   30/1/2020

If we have 3somes all the times but I can’t at females!?!! Lol


1 Commenti, 8 Visite, 0 Voti
Cutehouguy 43 U
1  Articolo
The Sound of Incognito   28/1/2020

Hello incognito, my old friend I've come to do bad things again Stealth mode on while I'm creeping Releasing seeds if you catch my meaning And the visions that are planted in brain Still remain but not in web browser after I close out and delete all history just in case <br><br> In office I wasn't alone Nearly caught me on phone 'Neath desk fingers cramp And I think ...


2 Commenti, 16 Visite, 4 Voti ,2.47 Punteggio
tripod2014 52 U
15  Articoli
It's all about the points....   26/1/2020

It's all about the ....It's all about the ....It's all about the ....It's all about the ....It's all about the ....It's all about the ....


2 Commenti, 18 Visite, 7 Voti ,3.30 Punteggio
BiggyBee2019 43 U
2  Articoli
How well do you know each other :)   21/1/2020

: Dad, I’ve heard that in some parts of the world a man doesn’t know his wife he marries her. <br><br> Father: , that’s true everywhere.


5 Commenti, 40 Visite, 18 Voti ,2.99 Punteggio
AngloSwiss_CH 72 U
2  Articoli
In the family way   12/1/2020

This is the story of a young lawyer who always spent his summer vacation at the same place by the sea. He always went to the same boarding house because the of the hotel looked good enough to eat. Naturally, as the lawyer was handsome and with the summer heat helping, the two young people quickly went from feelings to actions. The next year, the lawyer found his sweetheart, and was surprised to ...


4 Commenti, 125 Visite, 55 Voti ,3.28 Punteggio
TravelingMan_90 34 U
5  Articoli
points   5/1/2020

4 the points


1 Commenti, 9 Visite, 4 Voti ,2.47 Punteggio
goodplay696 36 U
1  Articolo
i am not funnin in a relationship   3/1/2020

Just need to get some Points so I am adding something here.


1 Commenti, 14 Visite, 9 Voti ,3.00 Punteggio
Wayneb51823 45 U
5  Articoli
Funny   3/1/2020

Funny more points


0 Commenti, 12 Visite, 6 Voti ,3.37 Punteggio
Cortitos   23/12/2019

- ¿Cuáles las mujeres que mejor conocen su cuerpo? - Las que se masturban, porque lo conocen "al dedillo".



Se levanta una polla por la mañana, con los ojos todos pegados, se pega una ducha, abre el armario y dice: -¿Y que cojones me pongo yo hoy?



¿Qué le dijo el posavasos a la cerveza? -¡Rubia que frío tenés el culo!



¿Qué le dijo ...


4 Commenti, 37 Visite, 6 Voti ,3.65 Punteggio
Coolhungdude 37 U
4  Articoli
Ahh youth   22/12/2019

So I like cumming on a womans tits or even her and of course Im more in tune with the idea when the partner in question wants it. Oh but what about a time when you lacked experience and aim...Like hitting a womam right in the eye they they are even near your . IE a shot arced back enough land in her eye when we were laying side by side after lol ahh youth


3 Commenti, 41 Visite, 19 Voti ,4.05 Punteggio
Blowjob hickies   15/12/2019

I'm very partial receiving oral. Sometimes some people get a little carried away and when I get home I notice the head of dick is all bloodshot. I was telling friend about this problem and he started calling them dickies. Does anyone else run into this and what do you call it?


3 Commenti, 42 Visite, 27 Voti ,3.77 Punteggio
slidenride069 48 U
3  Articoli
bi   29/11/2019

to bi or not to bi , bye


2 Commenti, 28 Visite, 19 Voti ,1.67 Punteggio
bigcock6061330 45 U
6  Articoli
I love white woman   20/10/2019

I prefer white woman, I love my black woman but I also love white woman because they are more freakier.


8 Commenti, 83 Visite, 50 Voti ,2.62 Punteggio
Daddi19915076 29 U
3  Articoli
Funny   10/10/2019

If its easy take it twice


3 Commenti, 68 Visite, 55 Voti ,1.86 Punteggio
Bigdeemikeh2 36 U
9  Articoli
Living by the three F's.   29/9/2019

If it floats, flys or fucks. Rent it don't buy it. Anyone else live by this?


4 Commenti, 55 Visite, 45 Voti ,2.36 Punteggio
Eatitupnbeatit44 33 U
10  Articoli
Try to have fun   23/9/2019

Keep your woman happy n always eat her pussy before you fuck her


6 Commenti, 92 Visite, 61 Voti ,3.94 Punteggio
Pullmytrigger55 49 U
12  Articoli
Free bonus   18/9/2019

I remember AdultFriendFinder use to give u credits or 40 day gold or something


6 Commenti, 73 Visite, 55 Voti ,2.73 Punteggio
Anal sex   18/9/2019

Is it just me or is anyone else worried about being s#$T on


6 Commenti, 45 Visite, 25 Voti ,2.25 Punteggio
points   15/9/2019

points


1 Commenti, 4 Visite, 2 Voti ,3.81 Punteggio
Mugz6988 40 U
7  Articoli
fun is good   28/8/2019

Nigel and Stephen, are keen fishermen and wine drinkers; here you can see a photo taken while they are enjoying some night fishing while on holiday, with their wives, in Poitou-Charente, France, last year. <br><br> Slurping a large Bordeaux Supérieur, Nigel announces, 'I think I'm going to divorce my wife, she hasn't spoken to me in eighteen months.' ...


4 Commenti, 98 Visite, 57 Voti ,2.56 Punteggio
sonrising54 57 U
9  Articoli
Blind Date   24/8/2019

I had a blind date once. A friend of mine asked take his g/f's sister. I agreed. So I went her place get her. When she opened the door she was 5ft tall and weighed about 350lbs. I thought okay. So we went a nice restaurant. After sitting down she looked at the menu intently. I thought okay. Then she said can I pick what I want. I said sure. She ordered 3 complete meals. The waiter ...


6 Commenti, 122 Visite, 54 Voti ,3.35 Punteggio
Kevint2457 29 U
1  Articolo
Sense of humor   17/8/2019

relationships where both individuals don’t have a good sense of humor never seem work. Understand you have take you relationship serious but making each other laugh and smile helps build and sustain a good relationship.


4 Commenti, 43 Visite, 26 Voti ,3.35 Punteggio
MagicalHungDevil 31 U
2  Articoli
booty   7/8/2019

o booty how I chase thee I only did this for my points yee I don't want to trespass I just want to fuck that ass good people i love you with that said throu


1 Commenti, 30 Visite, 25 Voti ,2.47 Punteggio
rdhair44 65 U
98  Articoli
Peter at the gate.   21/6/2019

comes to gates of Heaven telling Peter about her husband and their yard, Peter tells her you didn't need a man , you needed a bull , you are a milking cow.


3 Commenti, 67 Visite, 35 Voti ,2.01 Punteggio
Summernites88 43 C
7  Articoli
Loosen up   10/6/2019

Getting ready for a meet...loosen up. Remember your here for fun. Although keeping our nerves in check is not easy. So lighten up and have the most fun imaginable.


14 Commenti, 138 Visite, 86 Voti ,5.03 Punteggio
dess36 53 U
180  Articoli
I like   29/5/2019

I like to do it in public places, but of morbid people ho like to look, to me as you can see in my photos, I love it...


7 Commenti, 74 Visite, 22 Voti ,1.57 Punteggio
Pal4Perks 63 U
3  Articoli
Panty hose   16/5/2019

So I ducked this woman I met. See told me discrete, and she really wanted it bad. Great i hit it hard, and fast, done in record time. Then she tell me she was a virgin. I say, if I knew you were a virgin, I would have taken my time with you. She says, if I knew you were going to take your time, I would have taken my panty hose off.


1 Commenti, 56 Visite, 36 Voti ,2.89 Punteggio
anyone ever...   4/5/2019

slap a girls ass while your 69ing and then get the weird feeling like a you just disturbed a bunch of poop particles that are now falling down onto your face...probably not but I swear i've felt dusting before and it really pulls you out of the moment and makes you hesitant to slap that ass again...


5 Commenti, 59 Visite, 42 Voti ,0.93 Punteggio
points   27/4/2019

points points points points points


1 Commenti, 16 Visite, 10 Voti ,1.99 Punteggio
BoyFreaky22 29 U
3  Articoli
Said "No Thank You"   8/4/2019

One night, drinking at my friends, I decided to invite a girl friend over to partake. As the night went on, and her drooling over me, things started to die down and get quiet. Just as the room got silent, my girl friend leaned over and yelled "LET'S FUCK". Me being shy, politely said "No thank you". The next week, the same girl friend called me up and asked me if I would ...


5 Commenti, 121 Visite, 49 Voti ,3.57 Punteggio
Fully_Loaded_100 33 U
6  Articoli
What's the funniest thing that's happened to you during sex?   7/4/2019

I once broke the bed right before climax.. went right through it!


3 Commenti, 70 Visite, 38 Voti ,3.24 Punteggio
dess36 53 U
180  Articoli
Mirar mis fotoss   18/3/2019

Teneis mi permiso para copiar y exhibir mis imagenes donde querais, me da mucho morbo que me puedan ver...


5 Commenti, 28 Visite, 2 Voti ,3.81 Punteggio
dess36 53 U
180  Articoli
jijijijjii ii iii ii i   18/2/2019

como veis en mis fotos y gifs, me encanta el sexo al aire libre y me expongo desnudo con publico, espero os den morbo...


9 Commenti, 38 Visite, 3 Voti ,1.96 Punteggio
Alakabam92 31 U
9  Articoli
Points   17/2/2019

Just here for the points


12 Commenti, 88 Visite, 57 Voti ,4.96 Punteggio
discreet?   5/2/2019

funny when you meet someone, they say discreet, and then get naked? mmmmmm


1 Commenti, 32 Visite, 23 Voti ,2.31 Punteggio
man4nightfun2 54 U
4  Articoli
mothers   9/1/2019

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. <br><br> The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and ...


6 Commenti, 130 Visite, 49 Voti ,3.43 Punteggio
man4nightfun2 54 U
4  Articoli
mothers   9/1/2019

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. <br><br> The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and ...


5 Commenti, 78 Visite, 37 Voti ,2.81 Punteggio
man4nightfun2 54 U
4  Articoli
meet you in heaven   9/1/2019

After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her — “Hello” “How are you! We’ve been waiting for ...


4 Commenti, 83 Visite, 31 Voti ,3.53 Punteggio
man4nightfun2 54 U
4  Articoli
meet you in heaven   9/1/2019

After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her — “Hello” “How are you! We’ve been waiting for ...


1 Commenti, 45 Visite, 23 Voti ,3.60 Punteggio
6ft3intallBBC 26 U
4  Articoli
sex   6/1/2019

https://www.healthywomen.org/content/article/understanding-your-sex-drive-when-one-you-wants-it-more?context=healthcenter/60&context_title=60&context_description=


1 Commenti, 31 Visite, 20 Voti ,0.70 Punteggio
tess3972 44 D
3  Articoli
this story to make you laugh   29/12/2018

a lady goes to a restaurant , the waiter comes , and says , can I offer you a beer , she says no no. some wine ? no no , Whisky ?? no no. The waiter says , why ? does it make your legs tremble ? she says , they make me open them


1 Commenti, 13 Visite, 5 Voti ,3.80 Punteggio
MrInkyArms 48 U
2  Articoli
In a perfect world   27/11/2018

Orgies!


3 Commenti, 45 Visite, 34 Voti ,2.07 Punteggio
fun4we2or3 48 U
8  Articoli
the funniest thing you ever had happen while playing with a partner   21/11/2018

I would be interested in hearing from others as to the funniest thing that has ever happened ..... in the moment..


6 Commenti, 82 Visite, 36 Voti ,3.76 Punteggio
trellos4u2 37 U
9  Articoli
wtf   5/10/2018

for fun or not


4 Commenti, 60 Visite, 44 Voti ,3.46 Punteggio
Joke about each other   25/8/2018

I like to joke about each other and call each other names but be very respectful and also know your limit


3 Commenti, 27 Visite, 16 Voti ,4.16 Punteggio
Lorehill 25 D
4  Articoli
Cumfum   2/8/2018

I have a sex with my cousing (she) my first lesbian activity and I drop my pee over her that's was funny because she was angry a little bit.


2 Commenti, 11 Visite, 5 Voti ,2.49 Punteggio
shaggy19563 67 U
1  Articolo
WOW won't believe this.   12/7/2018

Well I was married to a redheaded German, Irish, Indian gal for over ten years. If I could write a book about those years not sure how to put the book on the stands. Fact, fiction, or your not going to believe this shit. The sex life I really miss but if your old enough to remember the 16 ounce Pepsi glass bottles that came in 8 packs I think she could hit a fly off a fence post at about 50 yards ...


3 Commenti, 107 Visite, 58 Voti ,3.04 Punteggio
UncutLVRJulio 32 U
5  Articoli
Relationship Clichés: What They Really Mean   5/7/2018

Regardless of who you date, no matter how long the relationship lasts; chances are you’ll hear some (if not all) of these favorites. Here’s what they really mean. <br><br> “Sometimes the person you want the most is the person you are best without.” I like you but we DO NOT get along. <br><br> “Everything is going to be OK. Maybe not now or ...


13 Commenti, 196 Visite, 96 Voti ,5.15 Punteggio
Confesando   2/7/2018

Una chica de pueblo en el confesionario, le dice al párroco que su novio le habia pedido que le hiciera una paja. Entonces el párroco le dijo que tenia que rezar diez Ave Marias y diez Padres Nuestros, pero sobre todo al salir, debía lavarse bien las manos con agua bendita. Lavandose está las manos cuando entra su amiga y le pregunta que hace, ella le cuenta la confesion, y entonces su amiga ...


2 Commenti, 14 Visite, 4 Voti ,4.02 Punteggio
I am 52 years Bengali from kolkata do job a very simple man looking for a real friend if u like call   4/5/2018

I am 52 years Bengali from kolkata do job a very simple man looking for a real friend if u like call me 9734 eight 52353I am 52 years Bengali from kolkata do job a very simple man looking for a real friend if u like call me 9734 eight 52353I am 52 years Bengali from kolkata do job a very simple man looking for a real friend if u like call me 9734 eight 52353I am 52 years Bengali from kolkata ...


0 Commenti, 51 Visite, 41 Voti ,1.28 Punteggio
tallman60314 41 U
16  Articoli
Finishing First   2/5/2018

Who thinks that laughing should be part of sex? If you finish first, why not clap your hands, cheer and say first ! There is always room and time for a second round!


8 Commenti, 64 Visite, 38 Voti ,3.65 Punteggio
seriously ,that is considered bisexual ? I am wondering.   18/4/2018

Bisexual seems like a simple term that is easy to understand. But , is it really that simple to declare some a bisexual? Does having participated in a 3 way with another of the same sex make some a bisexual? Does intimate contact with the same sex define the sexuality , or is it the intent of the parties involved. I get a lot of men that want to give oral sex, but If I accept , am I now a ...


8 Commenti, 126 Visite, 43 Voti ,4.22 Punteggio
flicker3210 35 U
4  Articoli
Chewing (Dick) Gum   11/4/2018

I was very young at that time, still in my teens. I was dating a girl and we agreed to a blowjob before moving onto actual sex. She was giving me a nice head and I was enjoying thoroughly as this was the first time I was receiving . She, at the same time was chewing a gum. When she took out my dick from her mouth there was this white substance on its head. She was feeling apologetic that she had ...


4 Commenti, 110 Visite, 52 Voti ,3.35 Punteggio
Hangry33 51 U
2  Articoli
How many dick pics should i post   14/3/2018

What is the ratio regular pics to dic picks that I should have ... like 3 regular pics to 1 dic pic or 3 dic pics to one regular pic <br><br> Also should I use my own dic ? Or a random dic on the internet ? Or a celebrity dic ? <br><br> Just trying to get it right !


6 Commenti, 65 Visite, 37 Voti ,3.66 Punteggio
funny   13/3/2018

According to new research, humor and laughter may be the most effective way for men and women to initiate and develop a relationship. Jeffrey Hall, an associate professor at the University of Kansas, found that when two strangers meet, the more times a man tries to be funny and the more a woman laughs at those attempts, the more likely it is for the woman to be interested in dating. Chances of ...


2 Commenti, 14 Visite, 11 Voti ,2.42 Punteggio
SparePrickBH 61 U
7  Articoli
My friend's antics with crab potion   3/2/2018

This is an old tale but still makes me laugh when I'm reminded of it. <br><br> We were in our 20's and enjoying life as young lads do, including one drunken weekend of partying which included sharing a girl who kindly thanked us with a dose of crabs. <br><br> Apparently, he knew his previous landlady had a bottle of the cure and I drove him over to collect it. ...


4 Commenti, 102 Visite, 49 Voti ,4.11 Punteggio
Does humor has priority for you in a relationship ?   17/11/2017

Does humor has priority for you in a relationship ?


5 Commenti, 52 Visite, 36 Voti ,5.31 Punteggio
Luv2eatpuccy 34 U
13  Articoli
Whipped   14/11/2017

Ladies if its you husband or boyfriends or nsa friends birthday would you ever put whipped cream on your pussy and tits as a gift for that man in your life and let he lick it all away?


11 Commenti, 86 Visite, 43 Voti ,6.41 Punteggio
Luv2eatpuccy 34 U
13  Articoli
Whipped   14/11/2017

Ladies if its you husband or boyfriends or nsa friends birthday would you ever put whipped cream on your pussy and tits as a gift for that man in your life and let he lick it all away?


3 Commenti, 31 Visite, 15 Voti ,2.82 Punteggio
Me enamora ...   26/10/2017

Me enamora la gente que dice lo que piensa y que realmente piensa lo que dice <br><br> . Que no es fácil. La que defiende sus ideas y sus emociones, porque suyas y sinceras. <br><br> Pero sin imponerlas a los demás, sin juzgar a quien piensa diferente <br><br> y sin compararse con quien no las comparte.


3 Commenti, 21 Visite, 18 Voti ,2.99 Punteggio
slicmike 31 U
1  Articolo
AWKWARD SITUATION   19/9/2017

I was with my chick at a bar when we met up with her ex husband's friend with his chick. I said hello to him and he said, 'Hey, ya gotta big dick?" I laughed at first and sat down. <br><br> He was one of those egotistical dudes that think there on top of the world because he has tattoos, motorcycle, and a good paying job. He looked like Ray Liotta from ...


4 Commenti, 117 Visite, 26 Voti ,3.67 Punteggio
Go Figure!   14/9/2017

I had a crush on my friends sister but it seemed like every time she was dating someone then I was not and when I was she was not. I really wanted to be with her but over time she got married to a total jerk. She was married before to a jerk so I guess she is attracted to jerks. Maybe that is why we never dated - just saying lol.


7 Commenti, 42 Visite, 19 Voti ,4.44 Punteggio
jr42468 56 U
24  Articoli
you have to be funny   13/9/2017

i think that all relationships have to have a good sense of humor it lightens the mood sometimes when tensions are high


3 Commenti, 37 Visite, 17 Voti ,3.97 Punteggio
stevong 41 U
3  Articoli
Wolf of Pig   20/8/2017

[image1] The Three Little Pigs Once upon a time there were three little pigs. When they grew up, they left their parents to live their first winter by themselves. Autumn came and it began raining. The three little pigs started to feel they needed a real house to live in. They talked about how to build a house and prepare for the coming winter, but each decided ...


2 Commenti, 73 Visite, 20 Voti ,4.02 Punteggio
caught   9/7/2017

getting caught by your gf while wanking is total fun lol


1 Commenti, 26 Visite, 18 Voti ,3.94 Punteggio
cvillau 46 U
34  Articoli
Chicas no se puede vivir sin ellas   8/6/2017

Cuando uno ve esto hay muchas cosas que hacen sentido, al menos para los hombres... XD XD XD


8 Commenti, 38 Visite, 13 Voti ,4.99 Punteggio
chickenhawk175 55 U
2  Articoli
When a girl says ...   27/5/2017

When a Woman says, "OK, have fun."

Do not have fun. Abort the mission. I repeat. Abort the mission.


1 Commenti, 49 Visite, 20 Voti ,4.40 Punteggio
Porn Is a Crucial Part of My Relationship   20/5/2017

I love porn. I'm not embarrassed to say it. I'm not picky about where I watch it. Sometimes I watch it in bed while my boyfriend's at home. Other times I watch it on our couch when I need a break from my three jobs and he is still at work. And my taste runs the gamut, though I tend to veer towards watching public sex and threesomes.

Oh, and maybe you caught this: I have a boyfriend. ...


1 Commenti, 69 Visite, 17 Voti ,4.12 Punteggio
People who do not understand other people   30/4/2017

So I work with this guy who decided the best way for him to find the girl of his dreams is to try to meet someone, from another country, online. He had a picture of this girl he was talking to and was so happy... Only problem was when he showed me it was a picture of a pornstar. Aside from this she also claimed to be in South Africa, yeah that country known for being terrible, and needed money ...


3 Commenti, 58 Visite, 17 Voti ,2.84 Punteggio
sexissooverrated 46 U
2  Articoli
Voila pourquoi AdultFriendFinder existe....   27/4/2017

Le juge demande :

- Dites-moi, madame Martin, pourquoi demandez-vous le divorce ?

- Mon mari me traite comme un chien, monsieur le juge !

- Ah ? Il vous maltraite ? Il vous empêche de sortir ?

- Non. Il voudrait que je sois fidèle!


3 Commenti, 18 Visite, 3 Voti ,4.90 Punteggio
Magdalena69n 40 D
1  Articolo
Love Line   2/4/2017

Love line with Adam needs to come back so bad...guys you need to listen.


8 Commenti, 74 Visite, 42 Voti ,2.62 Punteggio
Married or Single   25/3/2017

I was wondering what type of situation most women prefer here. When one is involved, do you prefer to find someone else who is also in a relationship or is preferable to find a single man. What do the single women here prefer. I like a drama free situation with someone fun and outgoing, but I am single and keep my options open.


5 Commenti, 57 Visite, 22 Voti ,4.57 Punteggio
rm_hotbtweenlgs 68 C
24  Articoli
Doing the laundry   14/3/2017

When our were little (2&4) we would say "doing the laundry" as another phrase for having sex. One day we were having a small dispute which left me upset. I went & set down on the couch as my 4 yr old came up to me to ask what was wrong. I did not want her to know we were fighting so I told her that daddy & I were talking about doing the laundry, however our washing machine had quit ...


1 Commenti, 824 Visite, 66 Voti ,7.19 Punteggio
nightflyer99 49 U
6  Articoli
oldie but goodie   15/2/2017

One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a Genie popped out of the lamp, An angry Genie, because the man had kicked his lamp.

Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I shall still give you three wishes as your reward for releasing me. However, because of what you did, I ...


4 Commenti, 106 Visite, 19 Voti ,3.65 Punteggio
Opps have you been recognized by, friends, coworkers, family?   2/2/2017

So has it happened to you any thing bad come of it? Anything good come of it?

Or just embarrassed....

I was recognized in my blk dress this week! opps family..., mmmmm coworker!


20 Commenti, 299 Visite, 59 Voti ,6.06 Punteggio
HuanxuLin69 34 U
0  Articoli
心血來潮~來個大野狼裝~增加情趣~YA.......但是卻是悲劇的結局   28/12/2016

我在上班的時候跟前女朋友講電話,但我們講電話過程中起了爭執,後來為了讓我們感覺別因為爭執而壞了感情,於是我去買了一套大野狼裝,想說回去帶點情趣回去跟她泥補一下感情,當然我一到家洗完澡立馬換上我為她準備的大野狼裝,從廁所出來後.....

...


1 Commenti, 17 Visite, 5 Voti ,2.49 Punteggio
autopalm77 51 U
7  Articoli
Haaaaachu....!!!!   17/11/2016

A woman constantly keeps sneezing and goes to see the doctor. She tells him, "Doctor, I constantly keep sneezing, and every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm." The doctor asks, "What are you doing for it?" The woman replies, "Sniffing pepper."


5 Commenti, 90 Visite, 28 Voti ,4.78 Punteggio
MsCarlalee 61 T
9  Articoli
who can you trust   8/11/2016

Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything under ...


6 Commenti, 276 Visite, 26 Voti ,5.94 Punteggio
rm_BIGYODAG2 65 U
24  Articoli
Drunk   30/9/2016

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town! Great Pussy!"

Everyone expects a fight, but the younger dude ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.

Ten minutes later, the old drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and ...


3 Commenti, 131 Visite, 11 Voti ,4.10 Punteggio
Weekend sex   30/9/2016

Would love to have sex- i said.

She gave me a glove...

Xxx


6 Commenti, 57 Visite, 10 Voti ,3.78 Punteggio
BBCheadlover 53 U
2  Articoli
false advertisment   21/9/2016

so awhile back i met a lady on AdultFriendFinder and what caught my attention was that she said she loved to work out, but more importantly (at least for me lol) she loved giving head. so after a few weeks of getting to know each other, we were chatting one friday night. she had a date that was running late or maybe just blowing her off. i was home bored and jokely said if you need some replacement dick, i'm ...


3 Commenti, 228 Visite, 21 Voti ,4.12 Punteggio
funcrux 46 U
7  Articoli
Human Relationships   20/9/2016

Ultimately, the only way to make good friends is to become a good friend yourself. Good people gather around other good people.


2 Commenti, 15 Visite, 3 Voti ,3.43 Punteggio
I am ready   8/9/2016

Was told that the other night- was excited. But the only thing i was ready for- was to sleep... Age...


6 Commenti, 45 Visite, 15 Voti ,3.28 Punteggio
nicelifej 33 U
3  Articoli
.zdfgjkldfklhb   4/9/2016

respect is the most important value in the relationship


1 Commenti, 15 Visite, 6 Voti ,3.08 Punteggio
我的人生 我的選擇   25/8/2016

已經如此有成就的人,面對有限生命仍這麼努力活著,

幸運能夠揮霍人生的我們,是否該學到些什麼呢?

有時候已經不是努力或不努力的問題

真的就是差了一點運氣和機運

大膽奴才!朕的舌頭你也敢玩

【 思 悟 】

且惜好時光

珍重各自安

...


1 Commenti, 6 Visite, 4 Voti ,2.86 Punteggio
luv2liku698 60 U
1  Articolo
Tires made of pussy   21/8/2016

We were having a discussion at the bar one afternoon. This girl said, "If tires were made of pussy they would never wear out!". I told her that it wouldn't work. The whole world would then smell like fish!!


3 Commenti, 56 Visite, 16 Voti ,3.27 Punteggio
BrightBlueEyes80 35 U
5  Articoli
Why do people always say things that arent?   2/8/2016

Why do girls always say they dont want anything serious, then all of a sudden they want something serious? Why not just be straight up?


4 Commenti, 37 Visite, 11 Voti ,4.10 Punteggio
venomdemon 54 U
5  Articoli
ERUPTION !!!   21/7/2016

BUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAA


1 Commenti, 38 Visite, 7 Voti ,2.53 Punteggio
venomdemon 54 U
5  Articoli
CAMPANA SOBRE CAMPANA !!!   21/7/2016

ESTAS SI QUE CAMPANADAS !!!


7 Commenti, 62 Visite, 20 Voti ,4.91 Punteggio
Alessandro46975 61 U
2  Articoli
paying for services   21/7/2016

When is cheating on your partener, if you go get a massage with a happy ending is that cheating, if you pay for a service is that cheating, women are offering all kinds of services to men.

It does not mean you don't love your girl or wife!!


2 Commenti, 32 Visite, 13 Voti ,1.80 Punteggio
iraduu 43 U
5  Articoli
brincadeiras   16/6/2016

estamos no dia de fúria por todos os lados, nada melhor que ter uma companheira , parceira, aceite como vc e sem cobranças para não atrapalhar a harmonia.brincar amar pode ate brigar mais nada que uma boa namora para colocar o trem no trilho.


2 Commenti, 6 Visite, 1 Voti ,2.40 Punteggio
alexander62619 26 U
7  Articoli
Switching mis Modelos   28/4/2016

En la pagina de AdultFriendFinder aparecen notificaciones de las modelos que continuamente se están presentando, ya sea para chat o hasta para buscar una experiencia virtual erótica mediante el Buz. Esta nueva experiencia en materia de las modelos Chateando me pareció una novedad y un Plus para la pagina, a cada momento chicas de todas partes del planeta están transmitiendo sus diferentes ...


2 Commenti, 13 Visite, 10 Voti ,1.99 Punteggio
lolobliss 39 U
1  Articolo
Blagounette   24/4/2016

C'est un couple de paysans qui participe a la remise des prix d'un concours de taureaux. Le présentateur annonce : Troisième prix, le taureau Gédéon, trois ans, trois saillies par jour ! La femme, tapant du coude mari : T'entends ? trois fois par jour !! Tu devrais en prendre de la graine ! Le présentateur continue : - Deuxième prix, le taureau Gérard, cinq ans, six saillies par jour ...


1 Commenti, 11 Visite, 3 Voti ,4.90 Punteggio
wittyhumor 41 U
37  Articoli
The Fickle Times We Live In.....   15/4/2016

"Nevermind what's being said to you! Then maybe you could learn to fuck better!"

That's what I said to her as I came in her mouth after, a less than par blowjob.....

"Didn't you learn anything from those porn flicks that you keep in your closet?!!"

I had asked her that before, and she hates it every time. She then says to me, that, she thought I loved her, and she ...


1 Commenti, 96 Visite, 13 Voti ,0.46 Punteggio
desembolo 41 U
13  Articoli
bom humor   14/3/2016

O bom humor em um relacionamento é essencial. Por que? Por que quando há uma desavença uma das duas partes tem que ceder; de uma forma ou de outra. Por isto; sempre quem cede é o lado mais bem humorado em uma relação. Na maioria das vezes um relacionamento é constituído de uma pessoa mais séria e reservada e outra mais acessível e bem humorada. Mas não se preocupe; isto tudo faz parte ...


0 Commenti, 6 Visite, 2 Voti ,3.12 Punteggio
UZIoSUICIDE 50 U
27  Articoli
Lessor of two evils   11/3/2016

"So let me get this straight, " the prosecutor says to the defendant, "you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man." "That's correct, " says the defendant. "At which time, " continues the prosecutor, "you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing her." "That's correct, " says the defendant. "Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your wife and the man ...


0 Commenti, 229 Visite, 24 Voti ,4.95 Punteggio
UZIoSUICIDE 50 U
27  Articoli
Make her scream...   11/3/2016

Hey guys... I figured out how you can make your girlfriend or wife or whatever scream during sex.. It's super easy and it works every time... All ya gotta do.. While you are having sex take your phone... and call your girl and tell her about it...


5 Commenti, 112 Visite, 17 Voti ,4.68 Punteggio
Linking5168 33 D
1  Articolo
約三個各一次,還是一人可以三次   20/2/2016

因為好奇 所以有一天挑選一位照片傳來相當勇猛的帥哥(應該,可能,也許算是吧),沒看到臉! 只看到 "恩"! 我就問他這個問題, 原始的問題是這樣的: 我問妳喔 , 如果有兩種狀況讓你選 , 你會選哪一種? A:我約三個人, 每一個人輪流一次 B:我約妳一個, 但是2小時內你要來參次

他回答: ...


7 Commenti, 49 Visite, 18 Voti ,5.44 Punteggio
sexxxcrzd 37 C
9  Articoli
Look how sexy my wife is...   6/2/2016

...That is all.

-Sexxxcrzd(m)


14 Commenti, 174 Visite, 26 Voti ,5.61 Punteggio
wickedcat2006 49 D
145  Articoli
the vagina!!!   31/1/2016

The best engine in the world is the Vagina. It can be started with one finger, It is self lubricating, It takes any size piston, And it changes it's own oil every four weeks. It is only a pity that the management system is so fucking temperamental.....


4 Commenti, 120 Visite, 41 Voti ,7.16 Punteggio
rm_Nikkicandie1 26 C
0  Articoli
its funny now not s much then   6/12/2015

nikki an myself was in bed and she says she has to pee.okay I thought get up and go like any sane person would do.well she for some reason got the idea to act like she was a and omg she pissed on me!!and I don't mean just a lil I mean straight full blast peed lol then says she was marking what belongs to her lol I couldn't be mad after that bc it was so funny and sweet at the same time yet she ...


4 Commenti, 98 Visite, 21 Voti ,2.14 Punteggio
namcoland 51 U
33  Articoli
女人最愛搜的前十名色情關鍵字竟然是   6/11/2015

女人最愛搜的前十名色情關鍵字竟然是?

...


3 Commenti, 21 Visite, 3 Voti ,3.92 Punteggio
mrryan74 47 U
5  Articoli
wife joke   30/10/2015

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't ...


15 Commenti, 453 Visite, 41 Voti ,6.76 Punteggio
mrryan74 47 U
5  Articoli
BBQ time   30/10/2015

A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"


5 Commenti, 225 Visite, 22 Voti ,5.77 Punteggio
rm_NOPoet30 67 U
47  Articoli
Always use condoms?   29/10/2015

Many will say YES! Let me state my case: 1st I was with the same partner for over 20 yr.s before she passed away. Last full physical showed No STDs & a sperm count so low, as to not exist. 2nd I have a reaction to latex [Rash] & little or no sensation. So, I ask if she can prove she is disease free - which I feel is being honest- and that for reasons stated I don't use condoms. Mostly, I get ...


1 Commenti, 88 Visite, 8 Voti ,1.86 Punteggio
rm_NOPoet30 67 U
47  Articoli
Always use condoms?   29/10/2015

Many will say YES! Let me state my case: 1st I was with the same partner for over 20 yr.s before she passed away. Last full physical showed No STDs & a sperm count so low, as to not exist. 2nd I have a reaction to latex [Rash] & little or no sensation. So, I ask if she can prove she is disease free - which I feel is being honest- and that for reasons stated I don't use condoms. Mostly, I get ...


3 Commenti, 46 Visite, 5 Voti ,4.12 Punteggio
search4cumslut 23 U
1  Articolo
c'est du sport   8/10/2015

Trois amis discutent. L'un dit : - Moi j'ai 10 garçons ! L'autre dit : - Hey, si t'en fais un onzième tu auras une équipe de foot... Le deuxième enchaîne : - Moi j'ai 14 garçons ! L'autre rétorque : - Mais si tu en faisais un 15ème tu aurais une équipe de rugby ! Et le troisième dit: - Moi j'ai 17 filles ! L'autre enchaîne : - Si tu en faisais une 18ème tu pourrais faire un golf.


2 Commenti, 15 Visite, 7 Voti ,3.55 Punteggio
rm_BIGYODAG2 65 U
24  Articoli
ANOTHER POEM FOR THE MAG -= SAD, FUNNY & LAME   22/8/2015

LAMO

We met in a chat room General conversation Things get hot & heavy She is coming over for sex. ‘Can’t see you till after work Be there by 8 AM my dear.’

She had sent a photo From the neck to her waist To whet my appetite I guess She was lovely, bare big breasted.

Troubled sleep – toss & turn Big Yoda is throbbing My mind is in a whirl Putting a face & name ...


2 Commenti, 76 Visite, 8 Voti ,3.25 Punteggio
Satyr48 75 U
8  Articoli
Karma   20/8/2015

Two former female neighbors met in the Afterlife, after both suffering untimely deaths. Being surprised to see each other, they asked how they me their fates. One woman said she froze to death. "Oh, my goodness!" the other replied, "that's terrible" "Well; not SO bad" the other replied, "After a while the cold went away, and I drifted off into a warm sleep" The second woman said she died of a ...


3 Commenti, 236 Visite, 26 Voti ,5.40 Punteggio
MsCarlalee 61 T
9  Articoli
The Successful    3/8/2015

Four men went golfing one day. Three of them went to the 1st tee while the other went to to the club house to pay the bill. The three men started bragging on their sons. The first man said "My is a successful home builder. He's so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free. The second man said "My is such a good car salesman that he know owns a multi-line dealership. And because ...


4 Commenti, 229 Visite, 17 Voti ,5.67 Punteggio
cutbas 27 U
32  Articoli
約砲方法 一   18/7/2015

這是我自己的經驗啦

小弟是個想像力極度豐富的人

可以從海洋聯到路上接著到天上 外太空

我是用暗示的

就是聊天中開始畫虎爛

有事沒事加點性暗示

如果對方也想要

會一起跟你進來你想像出來的情境裡

舉例好了

突然聊到體操

...


1 Commenti, 37 Visite, 12 Voti ,4.39 Punteggio
moneychan17 33 U
2  Articoli
請問各位男/女生妳們都喜歡什麼類型的異性阿   17/7/2015

各位大大妳們好~我很想知道各位喜歡的異性著眼在甚麼地方跟類型~順便看看異性跟同性的人都喜歡甚麼樣子的~因為我感覺我有點怪怪的~我竟然喜歡肉感型的女孩子.....因為抱起來很舒服說.......但是也不能太誇張......不知道有沒有人跟偶一樣呢?


2 Commenti, 10 Visite, 3 Voti ,2.45 Punteggio
Otis_Good 71 U
18  Articoli
Listen up   15/7/2015

I was talking to my ex one day after sex and asked who is the best lover you ever had ? I was feeling pretty sure she was going to say me after the fancy fuck I just gave her but no . Yap yap yap she went on and on . I kind of stoped listening until I heard . And in the shower Rose said you might as well wash my back and ass a deal is a deal . What ? What deal ? I asked . Rose my second roommate ...


2 Commenti, 304 Visite, 15 Voti ,2.52 Punteggio
Jan Stenmark   11/7/2015

Såg inget när jag gick in här bland "Humor om Förhållanden" så tänkte att jag slänger upp lite dålig humor av Jan Stenmark!


1 Commenti, 8 Visite, 3 Voti ,2.94 Punteggio
wickedcat2006 49 D
145  Articoli
gossipers!!!   15/6/2015

Mildred, the church gossiper and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused a new member, Henry, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of ...


3 Commenti, 244 Visite, 39 Voti ,6.82 Punteggio
1HORNYOLDBUGGER2 54 U
3  Articoli
Having sex with The King! Thank you.. Thank you very much...   15/4/2015

I have always found ways to make a girl bust up laughing; while we have sex.. Creative singing is one them.. I have a knack for turning something innocent; into something naughty..... For instance.. I heard an Elvis song while driving to a date. Latter when we were ready for a romp, I sang my dirty version. It went like this: Are you lonesome tonight?... ...


2 Commenti, 94 Visite, 11 Voti ,4.66 Punteggio
dh1313h 35 U
3  Articoli
For Fun   15/3/2015

A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for $2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even have enough time to undressed himself." So she ...


3 Commenti, 244 Visite, 20 Voti ,4.53 Punteggio
Visita al dentista....   11/3/2015

Llega una señora a la consulta del dentista; se sube la falda, se baja, las bragas y abre las piernas. El doctor sorprendido le dice: - "Señora…bueno…yo soy dentista, no ginecólogo." Y la señora le contesta: - "¡No te hagas el tonto; tu le colocaste la dentadura postiza a mi marido.... y ahora me la sacas!."


9 Commenti, 52 Visite, 19 Voti ,5.23 Punteggio
Aniversario   9/3/2015

Un hombre le dice a su mujer -"Como mañana es nuestro aniversario voy a matar un cordero para comer y así celebrarlo!..... La mujer le responde, -"¿ Y porqué no matas a tú primo que fue quién nos presentó? ¿Que te ha hecho el pobre cordero?...."


3 Commenti, 21 Visite, 9 Voti ,4.49 Punteggio
BBWcarente 48 D
18  Articoli
Quando o tamanho não satisfaz   20/2/2015

Como tudo tem o 8 e o 80, existem também os paus minúsculos: finos e pequenos, não tem jeito, coitados… O problema do pau pequeno é que, diferentemente do pau médio, grande ou gigante, que ficam mais visíveis na calça quando excitados, o pequeno pode enganar muitas mulheres. Você pode achar que, porque não há volume, ele ainda não está em ponto de bala. E daí dá uma chance ao ...


2 Commenti, 28 Visite, 9 Voti ,4.07 Punteggio
Solocitid de aumento de salario del Pene   15/2/2015

YO, EL PENE, PIDO AUMENTO DE SALARIO POR LAS SIGUIENTES.- RAZONES: - Ejecuto Trabajo físico - Trabajo a grandes profundidades - Trabajo de cabeza - No gozo de descanso semanal, ni días de fiesta - Trabajo en un local extremadamente húmedo - No me pagan horas extras ni nocturnidad - Trabajo en un local oscuro y sin ventilación - Trabajo a altas temperaturas - Trabajo expuesto a enfermedades ...


5 Commenti, 37 Visite, 14 Voti ,5.06 Punteggio
menjames 34 U
1  Articolo
內褲与手套   12/1/2015

絞盡腦汁想送個適合的禮物,   左思右想後他覺得送一雙手套應該是個很好的選擇,   因為最近常有寒流,而且女友蠻怕冷的,   送手套可以顯出自己的體貼,   再附上一封言情並茂的卡片,一定可以打動女友的心扉。      ...


2 Commenti, 15 Visite, 4 Voti ,2.86 Punteggio
Se traspasa?   1/1/2015

Dos amigos se encuentran en la calle y dice uno :-¿Qué te ha pasado Francisco? Dice el otro:- Pues que iba con la moto muy rápido y, ¿te acuerdas del edificio, ese que ponía "se traspasa"?.... -Sí - Pues que no es verdad. ¡No se puede traspasar!


2 Commenti, 23 Visite, 10 Voti ,4.78 Punteggio
missourimuffdive 63 U
1  Articolo
Dead Roses!   21/11/2014

On my fifth wedding anniversary i decided to get my wife a dozen red roses, they looked a little wilted and thought that they just needed some water and some miracle grow for flowers. I bought the roses thinking that i could bring them back to life somehow. When i got home if put them in vase with some water and miracle grow. An hour had passed and they looked a little bit better but still looked ...


2 Commenti, 91 Visite, 5 Voti ,2.49 Punteggio
maximil_power 33 U
1  Articolo
A Realization After Sex   13/11/2014

So the encounter began as hot and passionate as ever! She started unbuttoning my shirt, but had to raise her arms so I could throw HER shirt off! She must have thought, forget the buttons, and tried to pull mine over my head too!

We were tearing each other's clothes off like they were on fire!

She went for my belt, I went for her bra, and after struggling like I was trying to ...


3 Commenti, 231 Visite, 18 Voti ,3.26 Punteggio
rm_goodsxwithu 53 C
10  Articoli
Funny   12/11/2014

Have you ever gotten rug burns from having sex on a carpet? There's nothing funny about it the next morning.


18 Commenti, 133 Visite, 29 Voti ,5.25 Punteggio
kimdan4fun 41 C
10  Articoli
Testimonials   7/11/2014

If you get one do you always allow it to show up on your profile or do you sometimes hide them?


5 Commenti, 67 Visite, 14 Voti ,3.30 Punteggio
prettyinpink838 40 C
6  Articoli
Going   31/10/2014

Funny how the longer you know someone the more you get use to seeing them going to the bathroom and how little it matters.


11 Commenti, 126 Visite, 24 Voti ,6.20 Punteggio
rm_3xthefun99 54 C
4  Articoli
Humor   21/10/2014

We think it's really funny how many guys want us to watch them jerk off on cam. Do they really think that's what people on here want to see? Oh and just an added note for those of you that think a woman is watching you on all those couple profiles. It isn't.


9 Commenti, 90 Visite, 19 Voti ,4.44 Punteggio
Funny?   15/10/2014

If you write me and ask to fuck, suck or perform any other sex act with you before we've had a chance to chat first then I'll know you're just being funny.


9 Commenti, 108 Visite, 25 Voti ,6.56 Punteggio
lucas_vlc 29 U
2  Articoli
las chicas   12/10/2014

esperan las chicas follar en la primera cita o como?


1 Commenti, 18 Visite, 3 Voti ,3.43 Punteggio
cutbas 27 U
32  Articoli
幻想幹著公司的工讀生   6/10/2014

我們公司那個工讀生已經過一陣子了,目前還是學生,長的滿可愛的,皮膚白皙,

說話有點傻傻的感覺,還滿好笑的,因為辦公室在不同樓層,其實滿少有機會和她

說話,人還滿好相處的,真的好想要跟她來一砲喔,地點就在辦公室監視器看不到

的角落,光想都覺得刺激呢


1 Commenti, 22 Visite, 0 Voti
lovestolick619 48 U
171  Articoli
Understanding Women   1/10/2014

A Woman's Vocabulary, Keywords and Meanings (as taken from an interview with a woman)

FINE This is the word we use at the end of any argument in which we feel we are right, but need to shut you up. NEVER use 'Fine' to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your ...


3 Commenti, 56 Visite, 9 Voti ,4.07 Punteggio
lovestolick619 48 U
171  Articoli
Understanding Men   1/10/2014

"IT'S A GUY THING" Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH, " "SURE, HONEY, " OR "YES, DEAR" Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Translated: "I ...


2 Commenti, 42 Visite, 7 Voti ,3.80 Punteggio
lovestolick619 48 U
171  Articoli
When Alice Went Deer Hunting   1/10/2014

It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage.

Jake asks her: "What are you up to?"

Alice smiles: "I'm going hunting with you!"

Jake, though he had many reservations about ...


2 Commenti, 200 Visite, 13 Voti ,4.82 Punteggio
Lost_Cause_69 51 U
6  Articoli
Hard Liquor...   20/9/2014

Two female co-workers are chatting it up, and they are discussing the boyfriends they’ve had in the last year. One girl says "The last 3 boyfriends I’ve had, I’ve named after soda pops. The first one i called 7up, because he had 7 inches and he knew how to keep it up. The second one i called mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what to do. The third i called Jack Daniels." ...


8 Commenti, 279 Visite, 25 Voti ,6.67 Punteggio
Lost_Cause_69 51 U
6  Articoli
Three kinds of each...   6/9/2014

A family is at the dinner table. The asks the father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?" The father, surprised, answers, "Well, , a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, her breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions." "Onions?" the asks. "Yes. You see them and they make you cry." This ...


3 Commenti, 157 Visite, 20 Voti ,4.91 Punteggio
sadako2l 43 D
4  Articoli
Lesbian joke #69   4/9/2014

What do you call a can of tuna on a lesbian's coffee table?



Potpourri


2 Commenti, 88 Visite, 19 Voti ,3.26 Punteggio
littlewo 38 U
2  Articoli
導火線   27/8/2014

阿明脫掉衣服給女友看他腹部的六塊肌! 並驕傲的說:這相當於五十公斤的炸藥! 然後又轉身展現他的二頭肌! 又驕傲的說:這相當於一百公斤的炸藥! 接著脫掉內褲................................ ....................................... ............................... 只見女友奪門狂奔...........! ...


1 Commenti, 15 Visite, 3 Voti ,2.45 Punteggio
rm_s979310 42 U
1  Articolo
吃魚經驗   25/8/2014

第一節課-拉丁之舞

老師說,你先坐在這邊,我先示範一下...... 音樂放下去,老師一面搖一邊勾著我的脖子 時而正面時而反面,有時跨坐到我的腿上,並不經意的用胸部摩擦著我的胸膛 伴隨著音樂及肢體動作,身上的衣物一件件的滑落,股間不聽話的人蔘一吋吋的增大 ...


1 Commenti, 19 Visite, 3 Voti ,3.92 Punteggio
Alduin077 38 C
5  Articoli
Un Buen Polvo Antes Del Examen   19/8/2014

Mi novio Jake y yo habíamos tenido nuestra primera noche de sexo hace 4 meses, pero después de aquella se sucedieron muchas más. Una de ellas fue en una tarde.

Yo estaba estudiando para la universidad y el estaba hablando con sus amigos sobre películas con el ordenador. Yo tenía examen dos días después, y estudiaba tan locamente que apenas note que Jake había dejado el ordenador ...


12 Commenti, 97 Visite, 23 Voti ,5.93 Punteggio
Todo depende de quien lo cuente.....   22/7/2014

¡Mujeres!... ¡hombres!... es todo cuestión de percepciones . Dos mujeres conversando: - ¿Cómo fue tu día? - Una catástrofe! mi marido llegó a casa del trabajo, cenó en tres minutos, después tuvimos relaciones sexuales en cuatro minutos y a los dos minutos, ya estaba dormido! Y tu día, ¿cómo fue? - Ha sido fantástico! Mi marido llegó a casa, me llevó a cenar, después a caminar ...


7 Commenti, 67 Visite, 13 Voti ,4.82 Punteggio
vazzaam1 37 U
7  Articoli
bar joke   19/7/2014

A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."

The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hell of a day."

"Yeah, I just found out my oldest is gay."

The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for six double vodkas. When the bartender asks what's wrong, the man says, "I just found out that my youngest is gay, too!"

On ...


7 Commenti, 342 Visite, 24 Voti ,6.65 Punteggio
Por no saber nadar....   15/7/2014

Un pescador que tiene una barca, ve a su amigo pepe y le dice: - Oye Pepe, ¿sabes que me paso ayer?. Me vino una rubia diciendo que si le daba una vuelta en barca y yo le dije que sí. La lleve a detras de la isla, paré y le dije que si no echabamos un polvete volvia nadando, ¿y sabes lo mejor?, no sabia nadar!!

Al dia siguiente lo mismo, una peliroja: ¿me das una vueltita? si si, ...


4 Commenti, 58 Visite, 12 Voti ,3.68 Punteggio
Viagra   14/7/2014

El dentista le explica al hombre que debía extraerle la muela para lo que lo iba a anestesiar, comienza a preparar la jeringa cuando el hombre lo interrumpe:

- Nada de agujas, yo tengo pánico a las agujas...

- Bueno, dice el dentista, vamos a anestesiar con un poco de gas...

- No doctor...no soporto tener la máscara de gas en la cara...

El dentista trae una ...


2 Commenti, 39 Visite, 7 Voti ,3.30 Punteggio
Mi novia es mas tonta que la tuya....   13/7/2014

Están tres amigos viendo un partido de fútbol. Cuando llega el descanso empiezan a hablar de sus cosas...

> Hombre 1: 'Jodeerrrr, mi novia es muy tonta... Me dice el otro día que se va de tiendas y venga a comprar, venga a comprar, y va y se compra cuatro ruedas!!!! La madre que la parió..... pero si no tiene cocheeeeee!!!!'



> Hombre 2: 'Uyyyy consuélate, porque ...


2 Commenti, 32 Visite, 5 Voti ,4.12 Punteggio
GGnCerb 51 C
1  Articolo
Joke...   27/6/2014

How do you know you just had a good blow job?

- When she gives you a blow job she sucks the sheets up your ass.

Now how do you know the woman that just gave you that blow job is a good girl?

- She pulls the sheets back out for you.


2 Commenti, 88 Visite, 25 Voti ,3.91 Punteggio
Y_Duan 31 U
5  Articoli
馬達抽不到水   9/6/2014

某一天一個房地產仲介員到南部出差,住進一家旅館,閒來無事,叫了一個風塵女郎。

雙方議價八千元成交,經過一陣翻雲覆雨之後,兩人都睡著了。

次日,女郎醒來後 ...


2 Commenti, 29 Visite, 2 Voti ,3.81 Punteggio
Y_Duan 31 U
5  Articoli
有位小姐   9/6/2014

有位小姐第一次和朋友去練習打高爾夫球。 發球時,她很用力的一揮,球被打歪了,竟然向著一群人飛過去,接著就看到一個男人應聲倒地,把兩手夾在大腿的中間,痛得滾下了山坡。 ...


1 Commenti, 23 Visite, 0 Voti
MONICABIGAIL 46 D
1  Articolo
NOCHE DIFERENTE   6/5/2014

UNA NOCHE ME ENCONTRABA EN UN LUGAR MUY POPULAR Y LLAMADO VULGARMENTE EL MOTEL DE LOS POBRES HACIENDO LA PREVIA PARA UN POLVITO CON UN AMIGO AVENTAJADO Q SE DEDICABA A CONDUCIR UN COLECTIVO, CUANDO DE REPENTE ESTABAMOS EN LO MEJOR.... MUY PERO MUY ACALORADOS YO YA SIN NADA DE ROPA Y EL SIN LA POLERA Y SUS PANTALONES HASTA LAS RODILLAS EN EL ASIENTO TRASERO DEL COLECTIVO CUANDO POR PETICION MIA ...


4 Commenti, 83 Visite, 13 Voti ,3.81 Punteggio
SIR   30/4/2014



A


1 Commenti, 59 Visite, 6 Voti ,1.66 Punteggio
thislustfulmind 42 U
28  Articoli
Fun Facts about the Great Vagina   28/4/2014

Fun Facts about the Great Vagina


7 Commenti, 262 Visite, 26 Voti ,7.02 Punteggio
thislustfulmind 42 U
28  Articoli
Interesting facts about the Penis   28/4/2014

Interesting facts about the Penis


6 Commenti, 177 Visite, 24 Voti ,7.33 Punteggio
rm_rituraj510 28 U
12  Articoli
Getting rid of Ex   4/4/2014

An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb there’s a lamp. He picks it up, and as he starts to rub the dirt off of it, a genie comes out of the lamp and says, “I want to know the person you hate the most.” The explorer says, “That’s gotta be my ex-wife. Why?” “I am a cursed genie. I will grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish ...


3 Commenti, 284 Visite, 17 Voti ,5.39 Punteggio
rm_rituraj510 28 U
12  Articoli
how are people born?   4/4/2014

A asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about ...


3 Commenti, 171 Visite, 11 Voti ,4.85 Punteggio
SkinheadGirl 33 D
1  Articolo
nuestra identificacion   30/3/2014

Todos tenemos un nick, algunos ponen sus nombres, otros nombres de animales etc.

a que va tu nick en que se traduce para ti a que corresponde, en que se identifica a ti( xq e visto nick que dejan mucho que desear, y lo usaría mas para tener pesadillas que para masturbarme)


5 Commenti, 31 Visite, 9 Voti ,3.21 Punteggio
demonxxx10 20 U
3  Articoli
sera que todos cometemos errores chistosos en la cama   9/3/2014

alguna ves hiciste algo muy vergonzoso hasta el punto de matarte de risa en la cama




1 Commenti, 17 Visite, 1 Voti ,2.40 Punteggio
Islandman209 47 U
6  Articoli
what women would do if they had a penis for a day   4/3/2014

10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.

9. Get a blow job.

8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.

7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.

6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.

5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.

4. Touch yourself in public ...


4 Commenti, 87 Visite, 11 Voti ,5.04 Punteggio
Islandman209 47 U
6  Articoli
WHAT MEN WOULD DO IF THEY HAD A VAGINA FOR A DAY   4/3/2014

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing ...


2 Commenti, 63 Visite, 7 Voti ,4.82 Punteggio
Islandman209 47 U
6  Articoli
25 Secrets Girls Have To Know About Guys   4/3/2014

. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

2. Guys hate flirts.

3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.

4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual ...


1 Commenti, 68 Visite, 4 Voti ,2.86 Punteggio
W_Jesse 30 U
6  Articoli
我帶妳去女生沒穿內衣的地方   3/3/2014

小華:我帶妳去一個女生沒有穿內衣的地方 小明:真的有這個地方喔? 小華:走,我們去幼稚園


2 Commenti, 26 Visite, 3 Voti ,2.45 Punteggio
W_Jesse 30 U
6  Articoli
如果想認識或是一起交流歡迎密我交朋友!!   1/3/2014

內容如題,我喜歡愛愛,但關係只限於那時段,其他時間就像朋友一樣!!我喜歡交朋友,待人和善,想要聊天的也歡迎密我。


0 Commenti, 11 Visite, 2 Voti ,2.42 Punteggio
jeuxinterdits09 38 U
2  Articoli
Trois mecs   14/2/2014

C'est trois hommes qui discutent.

Au bout d'un moment l'un dit : Ma femme , mais elle conne , elle veut s'acheter une voiture ! Elle a même pas le permis!

Sa c'est rien , je croit que la mienne est encore plus conne réplique le deuxième , elle veut s'acheter un avion , elle a même pas le brevet de pilotage.

Arrêter dit le troisième la mienne c'est le pompon , ...


3 Commenti, 40 Visite, 8 Voti ,3.25 Punteggio
jeuxinterdits09 38 U
2  Articoli
Des femmes et des piscines   14/2/2014

Quelle est la différence entre une femme et une piscine ?



Aucune, elles te coûtent un fric monstre par rapport au temps que tu passe dedans.


3 Commenti, 25 Visite, 4 Voti ,0.92 Punteggio
LIKESTOLICKMOORE 46 U
23  Articoli
If You Use Handcuffs, Always Keep a Spare Key Handy   1/2/2014

I've even got a better idea, make sure you have one key on a string, around your wrist before you play, and have a spare on your key ring.

The reason? My two best friends, Ted and Bobbi and I play around quite a bit. Sometimes I go to their house for MFM threesome, sometimes they come over to my house to have a mfmf party with Debbie and me.

And sometimes, Ted and Bobbi just get ...


3 Commenti, 173 Visite, 8 Voti ,4.64 Punteggio
hysteroyster 33 D
2  Articoli
Foodie   27/1/2014

Urban Dictionary defines foodie as: a douchebag who likes food; though the terms "gastronome" and "epicure" define the same thing.

I don't remember being an asshole due to my foodism, I have however perceived others as such when my desire for certain foods or eateries were denied.

...which I guess does indeed make me a douchebag.

But who could resist the succulent steak ...


1 Commenti, 41 Visite, 8 Voti ,2.78 Punteggio
annie444u 52 C
135  Articoli
What Annie didn't tell you..............   23/1/2014

....was that before she rolled the damn can of Crème of Mushroom soup perfectly under my right foot was:

1. the fact that we have wood floors and they had just been polished.

2. I was wearing socks, not shoes at the time of impact.

3. She had just opened the cupboard above me slamming me in the head with the bottom corner of the oak cabinet

4. That ...


3 Commenti, 101 Visite, 10 Voti ,3.19 Punteggio
annie444u 52 C
135  Articoli
Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen Ruin the Meal (er, uh, ruin one's head)   23/1/2014

My husband Danny is an excellent chef. If it can be grilled, he can grille it like no one's ever grilled meat before. If it can be broiled, he can broil it to perfection. He can bake, fry, you name it.

However, sometimes we'll have guests coming over for a big dinner and he needs help in the kitchen....that's where I come in...or at least I used to.

He gave me a list of ...


4 Commenti, 156 Visite, 7 Voti ,4.06 Punteggio
solidsingh2 29 U
6  Articoli
SPECIAL YESTERDAY BUT UNWANTED TODAY   30/11/2013

DO U KNOW WHAT HURTS THE MOST.........?

ITS WHEN SOMEONE MADE U FEEL VERY VERY SPECIAL YESTERDAY....................................................................................................................................................BUT....................................................................................MADE U FEEL THAT U R THE MOST UNWANTED PERSON TODAY.....!! ...


3 Commenti, 58 Visite, 5 Voti ,3.47 Punteggio
rm_xiaoancle 23 U
1  Articolo
最近的辦公室姐姐   11/11/2013

辦公室姊姊幾位都來自台大日文系的, 尤其是一位快30歲的姐姐, 聲音真的很好聽, 人長得也還不錯, 重點是日文超級溜!

如果有生之年可以跟她來一砲 做鬼也甘願啦!!!!


4 Commenti, 42 Visite, 5 Voti ,3.80 Punteggio
kent8885 31 U
7  Articoli
冷笑话!   7/11/2013

妻子在廚房裡忙著準備早餐~

丈夫在她的屁股上拍了一下~

說:「妳要是能把這搞硬,就不用穿提臀褲了。」妻子強忍著,沒搭理他~

第二天,他又在妻子的乳房上抓了一把,說:「妳要是能把這搞硬,就不用戴胸罩了。」~

...


2 Commenti, 36 Visite, 7 Voti ,4.06 Punteggio
kent8885 31 U
7  Articoli
搞笑!   7/11/2013

1. 大象的左耳朵像什麼? ●右耳朵

2. 把一隻雞和一隻鵝同時放在冰山上,爲什麽雞死了鵝沒死? ●鵝是企鵝

3. 一年四季都盛開的花是什麽花? ●塑膠花

4. 什麼地方的路最窄? ●冤家路窄.

5. 什麼時候有人敲門,你絕不會說請進? ●在廁所裡

6. ...


0 Commenti, 14 Visite, 1 Voti ,2.40 Punteggio
kent8885 31 U
7  Articoli
真是一家人   7/11/2013

警車追逐一輛超速又橫衝直撞的小客車,終於追到路邊給攔了下來!





警察:「先生,你開那麼快,知道要被罰多少錢嗎?這些錢能用來做多少事,你知道嗎?」

駕駛:「我知道,它夠讓我去補習考駕照了!」

警察:「什麼!你無照駕駛?」

...


0 Commenti, 16 Visite, 1 Voti ,5.00 Punteggio
kent8885 31 U
7  Articoli
笑话!   7/11/2013

今天早晨特冷,姐妹兩個人去提款機領錢,正好遇見運鈔車來加鈔。 無奈之下兩人只好站在一旁苦苦等候,這時姐問我:凍手不? 我冷冷地回一句:凍手!結果四桿槍瞬間指向倆姐妹…… 兩個人被抓住送派出所,在路上我們一直沉默, ...


1 Commenti, 16 Visite, 1 Voti ,5.00 Punteggio
jaipurcouple1979 41 C
3  Articoli
Glitter and Sparkles   1/10/2013



I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any ...



3 Commenti, 278 Visite, 15 Voti ,5.73 Punteggio
jaipurcouple1979 41 C
3  Articoli
Glitter and Sparkles   1/10/2013



I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any ...



3 Commenti, 100 Visite, 4 Voti ,4.80 Punteggio
TomRakewell 31 U
10  Articoli
Flakes.   18/9/2013

Tell your funniest flake story!


1 Commenti, 55 Visite, 6 Voti ,1.94 Punteggio
Badtrev 43 U
9  Articoli
On being discreet...   9/9/2013

I cannot speak for everyone, but in the case of my wife and I discretion is an absolute non-negotiable must. Her work is sensitive to anything that may be conveyed as "alternative" and my work is very publicly oriented where I talk to hundreds of different people a week. On top of that we're also involved in the community and have a lot of friends who might not be ready to understand. So we ...


2 Commenti, 162 Visite, 9 Voti ,3.21 Punteggio
LTSwing69 51 C
2  Articoli
Greener Grass   7/9/2013

Being that my husband was born and raised his whole life here in this small County He is pretty well known and knows most other locals that have been born and raised here. Its safe to say that when we meet new people If its through a mutual friend , they have already been pre warned or pre schooled that we are freaks. They don't know what to expect and though they all at one time or another ...


2 Commenti, 284 Visite, 15 Voti ,3.28 Punteggio
bostonguy27yo 32 U
1  Articolo
Ever Fart by accident while getting blowjob?   11/8/2013

haha


2 Commenti, 64 Visite, 6 Voti ,1.37 Punteggio
OneMikeHancho 29 U
2  Articoli
Say it isn't so!   26/7/2013

A hysterical woman came into the ER. She'd just had a fight with her boyfriend while sitting in his parked car. She said she had gotten so mad at him that she pulled the key out of the ignition and put it in her vagina so he couldn't drive home! Now she couldn't locate the key to get it out. I couldn't find it either, so we concluded that it must have fallen out ...


4 Commenti, 364 Visite, 13 Voti ,2.81 Punteggio
OneMikeHancho 29 U
2  Articoli
Maybe you?   26/7/2013

"One night, a gurney rolled in carrying a woman in black lingerie-who happened to be straddling a naked man. They told us that they had been doing a lot of drugs and having wild sex when the woman's vagina cramped up and the guy couldn't pull out. The doctor on duty gave her muscle relaxants, and after several minutes, they were able to separate. Then they were promptly ...


4 Commenti, 323 Visite, 10 Voti ,4.58 Punteggio
funny   6/6/2013

tha ask her dad to use tha car he say wat u goin to do for me she says idk wat do u want so he says i want a bj she says thats sick ur my dad he says do u want tha car r not so she starts suckin then she stops and looks at her dad and says dad whys ur dick taste like shit so he says that reminds me ur brothers using tha car


1 Commenti, 198 Visite, 9 Voti
te dopas?   1/6/2013

¿te dopas para funcionar bien en el sexo?, EPO, hormonas, autotransfusiones, ... jalea real? pastillas azules? ostras? .. barritas energeticas? bebidas isotónicas...?


1 Commenti, 6 Visite, 0 Voti
Naliba 35 D
11  Articoli
¿Os gustaría meterme mano?   27/5/2013

¿Os gustaría meterme mano?


10 Commenti, 80 Visite, 17 Voti ,3.55 Punteggio
annie444u 52 C
135  Articoli
I want to know why the sexually frustrated, sexually depraved women go for my Danny   16/3/2013

Are there any other guys out there that get hit on by divorced, sexually depraved, sexually frustrated women like my Danny does.

I swear the boy must have the record for banging girls that are divorced and who haven't had sex with anyone since they split with their husbands.

Danny can relate story after story to me about how these women, many of them cougars, seduce him and, ...


5 Commenti, 354 Visite, 22 Voti ,3.49 Punteggio
Quit smoking   15/3/2013

A very smart doctor once told me that the only way for a man to kill himself slowly over a period of 30-40 years while spending huge amounts of moneey other than smoking was to get married,


2 Commenti, 175 Visite, 8 Voti ,3.48 Punteggio
SEXTING   11/2/2013

Text SEX 2win a BABY. 1t per sperm. Offer ends wen some-1 is pregnant. Lucky draw will b held @ d labour ward. promosen starts wen U make love with some-1 & ends wen U ar satisfied, hurry now! limited partners. So get started now!


0 Commenti, 142 Visite, 6 Voti ,1.94 Punteggio
annie444u 52 C
135  Articoli
Using One Friend to Make Another Girl Jealous, I Instead Made Them Into Lovers   2/2/2013

Sometimes our best ideas become our worst nightmares.....

Sometimes what seems like a good idea one minute comes back to bite us in the ass the very next second.

By using Diane, my best bi-sexual friend and lover to get Katie jealous, I instead turned them into lovers.

Katie never really left Earl, she remained married to him for years, but Katie made love to Diane ...


3 Commenti, 269 Visite, 20 Voti ,4.66 Punteggio
lovethey1952 71 U
2  Articoli
Fun at the Gentleman’s Club   27/10/2012

Fun at the Gentleman’s Club

I have been on AdultFriendFinder off and on now for several years. I have met some great ladies and continue to be friends. A short time ago, I contacted a lady on AdultFriendFinder and she stated she was a dancer. I chatted with her and finally went to meet her at her club. It was not one of the fancier ones in the area, but reminded me of a club I liked in Pennsylvania. As we chatted ...


3 Commenti, 368 Visite, 13 Voti ,1.47 Punteggio
indicaking1993 30 U
3  Articoli
accidental slip   20/10/2012

alright i very much like the doggy position. as a girl is it a big deal when a guy slips his dick in the asshole instead of the pussy on accident.


0 Commenti, 19 Visite, 1 Voti
Funny only now, many years later   11/8/2012

I'm in college and pick out this good looking freshman during orientation.

That night I'm munching away on a her and suddenly get a string in my mouth.

Yep, you guessed it.

So I stop, grab a quick, long swig from the beer bottle and ask her if she's on the the rag.

Comes out no boyfriend had ever eating her before and she didn't realize there was anything ...


5 Commenti, 274 Visite, 12 Voti ,3.51 Punteggio
El leon y el Burro   24/7/2012

Estaban un leon y un Caballo solo en medio de la selva y con unas ganas enormes de follar y no pasaba ninguna Leona ni ninguna Yegua, asi que el leon le propone al caballo que se lo monten entre ellos y el caballo acepta de buen gusto. El leon le pide ser el primero por ser el rey de la selva y saca un frasco y se empieza a untar la polla entonces el caballo le pregunta que que hace a lo cual el ...


1 Commenti, 101 Visite, 7 Voti ,3.04 Punteggio
rm_Rigel2010a 58 U
1  Articolo
Quejate al hacer el amor   20/7/2012

Carlita le pregunta a sexy flor que hacer para que su marido tenga mas interes en ella y le recomienda que SE QUEJE cuando haga el amor, esto enardece a los hombres. La siguiente noche se viste muy sensual y lo lleva a la camara nupcial y ya que estan en lo mas algido del tema ella habla. Que caro esta todo verdad , y estas elecciones han sido un fraude y no se encuentra buena verdura , en fin ...


1 Commenti, 91 Visite, 8 Voti ,2.55 Punteggio
viciosos65 58 C
15  Articoli
Muy cortos   8/7/2012

¿Como se llama al trozo de carne entre el culo y el coño? ...Fronton, porque es ahi donde rebotan las pelotas



¿Hasta qué número pueden contar las mujeres? ... Hasta el 68 porque en el 69 tienen la boca llena.



¿En qué se parecen las tetas de las mujeres y los dibujos animados? ... En que están hechos para niños y entretienen a los mayores.

...


1 Commenti, 45 Visite, 11 Voti ,4.66 Punteggio
viciosos65 58 C
15  Articoli
Mi novia es más tonta que la tuya....   5/7/2012

Están tres amigos viendo un partido de fútbol. Cuando llega el descanso empiezan a hablar de sus cosas...

> Hombre 1: 'Jodeerrrr, mi novia es muy tonta... Me dice el otro día que se va de tiendas y venga a comprar, venga a comprar, y va y se compra cuatro ruedas!!!! La madre que la parió..... pero si no tiene cocheeeeee!!!!'

> Hombre 2: 'Uyyyy consuélate, porque creo que mi ...


4 Commenti, 95 Visite, 14 Voti ,5.22 Punteggio
c6love 32 U
26  Articoli
humor   3/7/2012

so has anyone been farted on during sex. not a sex fart but an actual fart. it has happened to me numerous times. i almost burst out in laughter each time. is this normal for girls to fart during sex


7 Commenti, 130 Visite, 3 Voti ,2.45 Punteggio
foxeyatfifty 67 D
26  Articoli
Lost condom ??   12/6/2012

Would some of you like to share your humorous moments with you lover. I will share on of mine, we had lots of fun and some good sex, we were using a condom of course. After playtime we were looking for the condom to put it in the garbage, well we took apart the bed, looked under the bed, on the floor...could not find it, so we thought we should look and see what had turned out on the ...


6 Commenti, 457 Visite, 25 Voti ,5.90 Punteggio
nobody328 26 U
23  Articoli
IMPORTANT   30/5/2012

HUMOR IN RELATIONSHIP IS IMPORTANT AND ADVISABLE


3 Commenti, 55 Visite, 4 Voti ,2.08 Punteggio
rcoachv1 47 U
1  Articolo
swinger or swingers   15/3/2012

here is some food for thought if you and your partner are active swingers , but this time you do your own thing(have sex with another swinger couple) without your partner. do they have the right to be upset about it


2 Commenti, 145 Visite, 3 Voti ,2.45 Punteggio
Dirty_Pinguin 32 U
3  Articoli
Humor and Attraction : who likes jokers ??   24/2/2012

Have you heard the one about the relationship scientist who walks into a bar with a journal under one arm and a duck under the other? Never mind...it wasn’t very funny to begin with. If that's the only joke you know, will your lackluster sense of humor hurt you when it comes to attracting a romantic partner? It turns out that the use and importance of humor differs between men and women in ...


0 Commenti, 35 Visite, 1 Voti
nvrgetsenuf 50 D
11  Articoli
First Date Fuck-Ups, episode 2   7/2/2012

I met Jose (not his real name, to protect the guilty), while I was pumping gas & he was cleaning the canopy over the gas pumps. He would splash a little water to make me think it had started sprinkling. He did this twice before I looked up to see him. He then asked if I would like to go to a movie Friday. He was very good looking so I answered yes. He told me where his second job is, what time he ...


5 Commenti, 524 Visite, 24 Voti ,4.61 Punteggio
xBaphomethx 40 U
7  Articoli
Un chiste.   5/2/2012

Una mujer gallega le dice a su marido gallego:

Cariño. Dime algo que me deleite.

VACA?


3 Commenti, 66 Visite, 9 Voti ,3.85 Punteggio
captthickstick 38 U
1  Articolo
Singles   1/2/2012

"If you're going to cheat, you shouldn't be in a relationship."

Is it just me, or do you hear single people say this a helluva lot more than those in relationships?


1 Commenti, 86 Visite, 2 Voti
rm_sexspice40 49 D
6  Articoli
april fool   30/1/2012

you walk into a room and find your lover and your best friend under the sheets both naked. when they see you, they both scream april fool. you look at the calender and realise its april 1st. what would you do.


9 Commenti, 371 Visite, 15 Voti ,3.28 Punteggio
_JKH_ 69 U
858  Articoli
Ed the Chicken !   4/1/2012

Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.'

Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a ...


5 Commenti, 372 Visite, 16 Voti ,3.42 Punteggio
MMMM CUANDO AL FIN TE ENCUENTRE ......   9/12/2011

Te poseeré..ese día o más tardar el siguiente..te llevarè a la cama sin pedirte permiso, me acercaré, tocaré todo tù cuerpo y te harè mìo..

Te dejaré con una enorme sensaciòn de cansancio y sentiràs voluntad de entregarte al màximo.

Lentamente te sentiràs erizado y te haré transpirar profundamente.

TE HARÉ ...



7 Commenti, 100 Visite, 18 Voti ,5.17 Punteggio
rm_LeoMiguinho 32 U
9  Articoli
E ela correu   18/11/2011

Recentemente, quando eu era mais novo, +- 12 anos de idade, estava com uma namoradinha e meu irmão, pouco mais velho estava com sua namorada também, estavamos passando em frente de minha casa, o que a minha menina que estava comigo não sabia, minha mãe saiu de dentro da casa, meu irmão apresentou sua namorada e eu quando fui apresentar a minha... adivinha... Ela tinha saido correndo e já ...


1 Commenti, 46 Visite, 6 Voti ,2.80 Punteggio
speciale fille   16/10/2011

quelle est la difference entre un homme et un pruneau?

aucune

tu les suces la veille au soir et ils commencent déjà à te faire chier le lendemain matin


1 Commenti, 61 Visite, 9 Voti ,2.36 Punteggio
kinkycplincanon 53 C
5  Articoli
her,or so she says   9/10/2011

watching wife having her first girl/girl 69 in the back of our Subaru wagon . Let me set the story:i had hooked up my buddy with this girl who was staying with shannon and i.a mutual friend brought her over, asking if she could stay a few weeks. she was a tall redhead , kinda thick (in a good way)green eyes big full lips , sexy as hell and was very open about her bi-sexuality a true ...


7 Commenti, 571 Visite, 39 Voti ,4.62 Punteggio
Ceros   6/10/2011

Van dos ceros por la calle y ven a un ocho en la acera de enfrente. Un cero le dice al otro: - !Mira ese qué chulo: con cinturón!


1 Commenti, 48 Visite, 5 Voti ,3.47 Punteggio
xplodeu 48 U
3  Articoli
Pitfalls vs Pussies?   23/8/2011

I'm just curious to know what women prefer in bed. I'm sure if your sitting at home right now with the moggy on your lap your gonna say pussy right? But if you had put pussy to bed 5 min ago, and walked into your bedroom, What would you be expecting to find?

A bottle of wine and chocolate, a whip or other? I understand everyone here states their preferences, but I'm seeking here ...


2 Commenti, 122 Visite, 5 Voti ,1.84 Punteggio
takemeasiam74 50 U
10  Articoli
humor   13/8/2011

we all need to laugh and humor can help us all relax, sexually it is v important


1 Commenti, 44 Visite, 7 Voti ,2.02 Punteggio
carton50 67 C
1  Articolo
Morte horrivel   3/8/2011

São Pedro editou novas regras para se entrar no ceu;So poderia entrar quem no dia da morte tivesse passado por situações horriveis. Mal acaba de publicar as regras chega um jovem e São Pedro pergunta-lhe de que havia morrido, responde-lhe: De infarto.Cheguei em casa, e encontrei minha mulher enrrolada em uma toalha e toda nervosa.Descofiado procurei por todo o apartamento, e sem encontrar ...


3 Commenti, 61 Visite, 11 Voti ,3.35 Punteggio
mmm0mike0 50 U
14  Articoli
不要亂問   3/8/2011

女友給男友發短信:“老公你在幹嘛?在做夢嗎?把夢傳給我!在笑​嗎?把笑發過來!在哭嗎?短信你的眼淚讓我一起悲傷!”過了一會​,男友短信回覆道:“我在大便。”


6 Commenti, 101 Visite, 11 Voti ,3.17 Punteggio
mmm0mike0 50 U
14  Articoli
顛覆你心中的童話   29/7/2011

一天,一個女裁縫坐在河邊縫衣裳,一不小心她的頂針掉進河裡, 她傷心得大哭起來。

聽到哭聲,上帝出現了。

上帝問:“我親愛的孩子,你為什麼哭泣啊?”

女裁縫告訴上帝事情說她這枚頂針是她維持許多年重要的物品

...


6 Commenti, 67 Visite, 9 Voti ,2.78 Punteggio
XG35 55 U
4  Articoli
Bra Sizes   27/7/2011

Have u ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the Letters used to define bra sizes? But couldn't figure out what the letters stood for. Well its time you became informed! (A) Almost tits. ( Barely there. (C) Can't Complain! (D) Damn! (DD) Double Damn! (E) Enormous! (F) Fake. (G) Get a Reduction. (H )Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!




10 Commenti, 513 Visite, 36 Voti ,4.45 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
Noble King Arthur   29/6/2011

King Arthur

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to ...


3 Commenti, 290 Visite, 12 Voti ,6.16 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
Like a Tiger   29/6/2011

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That’s no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I’ve been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger ...


1 Commenti, 384 Visite, 11 Voti ,3.35 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
The Old Farmer   29/6/2011

The old farmer sat rocking on the front porch as he talked to the stranger. "Been thirty years since I lost my wife in these woods."

"Oh, I’m sorry, " the stranger said, "It must have been hard to lose your wife like that."

"Hard?" the farmer snorted, "Was damn near impossible! She knew those woods like the back of her hand!"


1 Commenti, 382 Visite, 9 Voti ,3.64 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
the Big Game Hunter   23/6/2011

The big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and none could dispute that. But then he said they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal’s skin from it’s feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what caliber bullet it was that killed the animal.

The hunter said ...


1 Commenti, 261 Visite, 10 Voti ,3.98 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
Piece of Cake   23/6/2011

Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I'm gonna go play in my room for a couple of hours. I sure would like a piece of cake after though!

Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Wow!, it worked!"

Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?"

Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in ...


1 Commenti, 298 Visite, 5 Voti ,4.12 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
Sex at Seven   23/6/2011

A typical macho man married a typical good-looking redheaded lady and after the wedding, laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you ...


1 Commenti, 258 Visite, 5 Voti ,3.14 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
Two Friends   23/6/2011

Two friends, a blonde and a brunette, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the brunette happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.

She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again...for no reason."

The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "What’s the big deal, don’t you like getting flowers?"

The brunette says, "Oh ...


2 Commenti, 316 Visite, 10 Voti ,4.78 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
"Joys of Parenting "   22/6/2011

A Woman's Experience With

For those who already have past this age, this is hilarious. For those who have this age, this is not funny. For those who have nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who have not yet had , this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous mother.

Things I've learned from my (honest & no kidding):

1. A king size ...


2 Commenti, 275 Visite, 12 Voti ,5.63 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
Women   22/6/2011

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. --Charlotte Whitton

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone. --Lenny Bruce

I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine. --Mel ...


1 Commenti, 154 Visite, 1 Voti ,3.70 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
Vacation   22/6/2011

A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; his wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a nap.

The wife, to escape her snoring husband, decided to take the boat out. Since she was not familiar with the lake, she rowed out to the middle, anchored the boat, and started ...


1 Commenti, 279 Visite, 6 Voti ,5.36 Punteggio
rm_sky570404 25 U
17  Articoli
   16/6/2011

我是一個需求很大的人!!!! 有時候幾乎每天都會自己來 雖然有女朋友但是她無法滿足我的需求 因此我們吵了好多次的架,希望在這裡可以找到能滿足我大大需求的姐姐。 弟弟我最喜歡 女生幫我用嘴幫 那種感覺很棒!!!


1 Commenti, 28 Visite, 6 Voti ,2.51 Punteggio
viciosos65 58 C
15  Articoli
El cura y la monja   6/6/2011

Cierta vez, un cura y una monja regresaban de una aldea hacia el convento.

Al caer la noche, vieron una cabaña en medio del camino y decidieron entrar para pernoctar y proseguir el viaje al siguiente día.

Al entrar a la cabaña, vieron que había una cama, apenas de pareja, y varias mantas en un armario.

El padre y la monja entraron y después de algunos segundos de ...


4 Commenti, 155 Visite, 16 Voti ,5.04 Punteggio
southernman5051 60 U
6  Articoli
Starting a fight   5/6/2011

A wife and her husband were watching "Who wants to be a millionaire"while they were in bed.Husband turns to the wife and said Do you want to have sex?"NO" she answered.He then turns and ask, Is that your final answer? THis time without even looking at him simply reply "YES" So then husband turns and said ok I like to phone a friend" THen the fight started.


0 Commenti, 418 Visite, 17 Voti ,2.42 Punteggio
viciosos65 58 C
15  Articoli
Muy agudo...   4/6/2011

Y luego dicen que no hay gente “lista”, sin ser catedráticos.

Un joven estudiante de Derecho, habiendo suspendido el examen final, interpela a su severo catedrático - célebre por su aguda mente jurídica - y le pregunta:

- “Profesor, ¿entiende Ud. realmente todo lo referente a su asignatura?” - ”Creo que sí: de otro modo no sería catedrático ¿no le parece?” - ...


2 Commenti, 89 Visite, 12 Voti ,5.10 Punteggio
coolwinterclass 52 U
5  Articoli
booted out   3/6/2011

A husband and his wife had a very bad argument.He left and went to the bar. when he home three sheets to the wind. He saw that all his clothes and tools were lying in the front yard. When seeing this through blurry eyes he stormed in the house and confronted wife."Bitch I know your leaving but you sure in hell are not taking my stuff with you"


2 Commenti, 371 Visite, 12 Voti ,3.68 Punteggio
viciosos65 58 C
15  Articoli
El pie y el pene   1/6/2011

El pie mira para arriba y ve que el pené lo estaba mirando, entonces le pregunta: ¿Como andas?

El pene contesta: Como los ajos, siempre colgado cabeza abajo, y a ti ¿como te trata?

El pie le responde: “Excelente fíjate que por las mañanas para que no toque el suelo frío me pone unas sandalias, se mete a bañar me lava muy bien entre todos mis deditos, después me seca ...


2 Commenti, 88 Visite, 11 Voti ,4.10 Punteggio
vad3001 35 U
2  Articoli
elton john   31/5/2011

Cest quoi la différences enbtre elton john et un oiseau ? Il n'y en pas les deux mangent des graines ...


2 Commenti, 14 Visite, 4 Voti ,0.53 Punteggio
mulher5309 67 D
36  Articoli
Na mesma moeda.   11/4/2011

De manhã, o marido acorda, vira-se para a mulher, dá um beliscão na bunda dela e diz: -Se vc fizesse exercícios para firmar a bundinha, poderíamos nos livrar dessas calcinhas. A mulher procura manter o controle e ficar em silêncio, para evitar discussão. No dia seguinte, o marido acorda, dá um beliscão nos seios dela e diz: -Se você conseguisse firmar essas tetinhas, poderíamos nos ...


7 Commenti, 77 Visite, 20 Voti ,4.40 Punteggio
warINpieces 33 U
1  Articolo
Have you ever farted during sex?   6/4/2011

My first one night stand EVER I accidently let one slip while she was blowing me. We laughed it off and I felt quite embarassed until 2 minutes later she let one go as I brought her legs over her shoulders. Girls do fart!


1 Commenti, 24 Visite, 3 Voti ,3.43 Punteggio
SEEKING FOR THE RIGHT PERSON TO RELOCATE AND START A NEW LIFE WITH   5/4/2011

am looking to meet someone who is honest, sweet, caring, attractive, someone who is getting tired of the bar scene, someone who is looking for something that can turn into a long term relationship and possibly marriage.but 4months ago i met a guy on the internet promising me that he loves me and his from Africa and told me to come and visit him and i pay him a visit he take me to a hotel and ...


0 Commenti, 32 Visite, 3 Voti ,2.45 Punteggio
coppiainibita 41 C
9  Articoli
la differenza tra....   28/3/2011

qual'è la differenza tra li bocchini e li chiodi ?!? Beh li bocchini nun se batteno


4 Commenti, 64 Visite, 9 Voti ,3.43 Punteggio
interstar2007 60 U
9  Articoli
le cinema   28/3/2011

Deux bites vont au cinéma : - J'espère que ce n'est pas un film porno, sinon on va encore passer la soirée debout.


10 Commenti, 86 Visite, 19 Voti ,3.65 Punteggio
interstar2007 60 U
9  Articoli
deux prostituées   28/3/2011

Deux prostituées dans un ascenseur : - Dis donc, tu ne trouves pas que ca sent le sperme ici ? - Ouais. Excuses-moi, j'ai rote.


4 Commenti, 79 Visite, 11 Voti ,1.86 Punteggio
interstar2007 60 U
9  Articoli
un mec et un ours   28/3/2011

Un mec voulait chasser l'ours. Il prend un fusil, mais il le rate! Alors l'ours le chope et l'encule ! Effaré, le mec recommence, mais cette fois avec une mitrailleuse ! Et il le rate encore !!! De nouveau, l'ours encule le mec ! Dégoûté, le mec prend carrément un bazooka et juste avant qu'il tire, l'ours sort de sa caverne et s'exclame : - Hé! tu ne serais pas zoophile sur les bords ?


5 Commenti, 56 Visite, 8 Voti ,3.71 Punteggio
interstar2007 60 U
9  Articoli
le gamin et le mec   28/3/2011

Ça se passe tard le soir, dans une rue où il n'y a que des maisons closes. Un gamin se promène tranquillement, et voit tout à coup un mec qui sort d'une maison en se reboutonnant le pantalon. Le gamin ne peut s'empêcher de chanter : "Ohé ohé, je sais ce que t'as faieuhhhhhh ; ohé ohé, je sais ce que t'as fait !" Et le gosse suit le mec. Ce dernier marche de plus en plus vite, mais rien a ...


7 Commenti, 62 Visite, 8 Voti ,3.71 Punteggio
interstar2007 60 U
9  Articoli
le blanc et le noir   28/3/2011

Cela se passe dans une mission en Afrique. Dans ce village, peuplé uniquement de noirs, se trouve un et un seul blanc : le père Joseph. Un jour un des autochtones aborde le père Joseph pour une plainte. - Écoute mon per'we, j'ai un petit p'obleme. Ma femme vient d'avoi' un fils, et il est blanc. Comme tu es le seul blanc dans la 'egion, je viens te voi' pa'ceque je ne suis pas content. - Ah ...


3 Commenti, 55 Visite, 7 Voti ,2.28 Punteggio
interstar2007 60 U
9  Articoli
visite medicale   28/3/2011

Un homme passe une visite médicale. Le docteur pose des questions pour remplir le dossier : - Combien avez-vous d'enfants ? - Treize ! Treize enfants ? Avec la même ? - Oui, avec la même mais pas avec la même femme !


4 Commenti, 42 Visite, 5 Voti ,1.51 Punteggio
interstar2007 60 U
9  Articoli
le robinet qui fuit   28/3/2011

Un couple : - Chéri le robinet fuit ! change le joint - Pas le temps, et j'suis pas plombier ! Le lendemain : - Tu penses au robinet qui fuit ? - Pas ce soir et j'suis pas plombier ! Le jour suivent : - Tiens, le robinet ne fuit plus ? - Non le voisin est venu le réparer - Ah.. et il t'a demandé quoi pour le service ? - Que je lui fasse un gâteau ou une gâterie. - Ah.. et tu lui as fait quoi ...


2 Commenti, 36 Visite, 7 Voti ,3.30 Punteggio
interstar2007 60 U
9  Articoli
carte de credit   28/3/2011

C'est trois hommes qui vont dans une boîte de strip-tease. Une fille vient danser devant eux. Le premier gars sort un billet de 10€ et lui met sur la fesse droite. Le deuxième gars sort un billet de 20€ et lui colle sur l'autre fesse. Le dernier prend sa carte de crédit et lui passe entre les fesses.


2 Commenti, 32 Visite, 1 Voti ,2.40 Punteggio
interstar2007 60 U
9  Articoli
3 jeunes secretaires   28/3/2011

Trois jeunes secrétaires discutent à la pause des tours qu'elles ont déjà joué à leur patron. - Moi, dit la première, j'ai découpé toutes les photos dans Play-boy, il n'a jamais trouvé qui avait fait le coup... - Ha! Ha! Ha! Moi, dit la deuxième, il y a quinze jours, j'ai trouvé des préservatifs dans tiroir, et je les ai tous percés avec une épingle... La troisième, elle, s'est ...


4 Commenti, 49 Visite, 7 Voti ,3.30 Punteggio
interstar2007 60 U
9  Articoli
la migraine   28/3/2011

Un homme tend un verre d'aspirine à sa femme. - Mais je n'ai pas la migraine ! - Ah, alors on peut faire l'amour !


2 Commenti, 24 Visite, 0 Voti
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
Infidelity Discovered   14/3/2011

A man was having an affair with another woman and his wife found out about it, so she told him "If you don't end it now I'm gonna go downtown to the post office where you work and tell everyone I see that you're a no good cheating filthy bum."

The husband replied "You're gonna go downtown to the post office where I work and tell everyone you see that I'm a no good cheating filthy bum?" ...


3 Commenti, 443 Visite, 19 Voti ,2.46 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
The Garden of Eden   14/3/2011

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of ...


2 Commenti, 274 Visite, 12 Voti ,3.33 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
Magic Frog   14/3/2011

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes."

The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will ...


4 Commenti, 240 Visite, 9 Voti ,5.56 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
My Wife and I Were Happy For Twenty Years.......   7/3/2011

My wife and I were happy for twenty years...then we met.

. I just got back from a pleasure trip - I drove my wife to the airport

. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice

. One woman says to another, "Isn't your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other woman ...


1 Commenti, 286 Visite, 4 Voti ,2.47 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
the King   7/3/2011

The king was waving to his loyal subjects from the steps of the palace when he spotted a beggar in the crowd who looked, beneath the dirt and rags, amazingly like his royal self. He had a guard bring the beggar to him and the crowd was likewise struck by the remarkable resemblance. The king was amused, for he knew that the king before him had a well-deserved reputation as a ladies' man, as did he ...


1 Commenti, 172 Visite, 1 Voti ,2.40 Punteggio
chicoT353 54 U
1  Articolo
Red Flags and warning signs....   7/3/2011

Red flags and warning sign. Is this you because I look for these. If your new in town and ask me where the Methadone Clinic is.........Warning

If the police already know your description....... Warning

If you know the county jail system better than the sheriff.....warning

To date somebody. If you have to get cleared by CPS or a Judge.........Warning

I know we ...


1 Commenti, 48 Visite, 1 Voti ,5.00 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
Free Tattoo   7/3/2011

A man walks into a tattoo parlor and says he would like a $100 dollar bill on his dick. Well the tattoo artist laughs and says "I'll do it for free if you can give me one good reason for it."

The guy thinks for a second and says. "Well one, I like to keep my money in my pants, two I like to watch my money grow, and three I want to see how fast my wife can blow a $100.


1 Commenti, 202 Visite, 8 Voti ,4.17 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
Just Try to be Strong   7/3/2011

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an ...


3 Commenti, 225 Visite, 12 Voti ,5.63 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
Off to Hawaii   7/3/2011

There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but were never able to save any money to do so. One day they came up with an idea--each time they had sex, they would put $20.00 bill into a piggy bank.

They bought the piggy, and followed that procedure for about a year. After that time, they decided that there was enough money for their ...


1 Commenti, 144 Visite, 0 Voti
rm_manz634 36 U
5  Articoli
'reyan George" captured!   25/2/2011

recently i had the rare learning opportunity to deal with a professional con artist on AdultFriendFinder.com. I received a email from a lady naming herself reyan George who only had one photo on her account. she quickly started with a story about how she was looking for love and cherished love etc. right away i knew something was up because it seemed like it was a letter that was sent to ...


0 Commenti, 150 Visite, 3 Voti ,1.47 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
Mrs. Boudreaux   25/2/2011

One night, a torrential rain soaked Southern Louisiana; the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes there.

Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs.Thibodeaux, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Thibodeaux noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house.

Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float back ...


3 Commenti, 181 Visite, 4 Voti ,2.47 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
Abstinance   18/2/2011

Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle aged and the final couple was newlywed.

Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it ...


3 Commenti, 172 Visite, 7 Voti ,2.79 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
Sexual Desire Enhancement   18/2/2011

Doc, you've gotta help me... my wife just isn't interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?" "Look, I can't prescribe..." "Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I am desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate; my life is going utterly to Hell! You've got to help me." The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of ...


3 Commenti, 180 Visite, 5 Voti ,2.82 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
His and Her Diary   17/2/2011

Her Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him ...


3 Commenti, 179 Visite, 7 Voti ,3.55 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
reincarnation   16/2/2011

Jason came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk (as he often did) and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.

He gave his wife a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. “Who the hell are you?” Demanded Jason, “and what are you doing in my bedroom?”. ...


1 Commenti, 151 Visite, 5 Voti ,3.14 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
the Portrait   14/2/2011

Mrs. Johnson decided to have her own portrait painted by a very famous artist. She told the artist, "Paint me with 3-carat diamond earrings, a large diamond necklace, glimmering emerald bracelets, and a beautiful red ruby pendant." "But ma'am, you are not wearing any of those things." "I know, " said Mrs. Johnson. "My health is not good, and my husband is having an affair with his secretary. When ...


1 Commenti, 122 Visite, 5 Voti ,3.14 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
the Farmer and His Wife   6/2/2011

A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her grabs her tits and says "Honey if you could get milk out of these we could sell the cow". Then he grabs her pussy and says "Honey if you could get eggs out of here we could sell the chickens". She turns to him smiles, grabs his dick and says "Honey if you could get this up I could get rid of your brother


1 Commenti, 220 Visite, 2 Voti ,2.42 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
the Bus Ride   27/1/2011

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.

The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.


1 Commenti, 140 Visite, 5 Voti ,2.49 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
the in-laws   25/1/2011

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep, " the wife replied, "in-laws."


2 Commenti, 172 Visite, 2 Voti ,3.81 Punteggio
readytoplay100 76 U
5  Articoli
expectations   24/1/2011

I've been on this site now on and off for several years. I've had a lot of fun and I've enjoy meeting some really wonderful people. I also been witness to some of the absolutely most unrealistic expectations and narcissus behavior imaginable. This always makes me smile.

The idea that someone using this site is someway more moral than someone else is the height of stupidity, not ...


1 Commenti, 58 Visite, 3 Voti
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
dont do it !   23/1/2011

A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door, and, sure enough, finds him naked in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she’s angry. She opens her purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is overcome with grief and points the gun at her own head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don’t do ...


1 Commenti, 175 Visite, 2 Voti ,2.42 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
Pizza Pizza   22/1/2011

My wife, on her way home, picked up a $5 pizza for dinner. As we are eating it she fell on the floor and started having convulsions. I grabbed and fumbled with the phone as I called the 911 dispatch. As I knelt and attended to her the paramedic unit arrived and started checking her out. They told me not to be worried and that everything would be fine. She was just having "Little Seizures."


1 Commenti, 171 Visite, 1 Voti ,3.70 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
the bank hostages   22/1/2011

This guy robs a bank and takes hostages.

He asks one of the hostage, "Did you see me rob the bank?"

The hostage answers, "Yes."

The crook, promptly shoots him.

Then he asks the another hostage the same question, "Did you see me rob the bank?"

The hostage answers, "No, but my wife over there did."


1 Commenti, 125 Visite, 0 Voti
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
the sex talk   16/1/2011

In a small town, an elderly couple had been dating each other for a long time.

At the urging of their friends, they decided it was finally time for marriage.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.

They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided ...


1 Commenti, 152 Visite, 8 Voti ,2.55 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
the beer drinker   16/1/2011

A man walks in the door after a day at the office to find his wife crying at the kitchen table. Whats wrong? he asks.

I went to the store today, and a horrible man looked up my skirt. He said, ˜Id like to fill that with beer and drink it, she sobs. I wish youd been there to kick his ass.

Listen, honey, Ive repeatedly told you to wear panties every day,  replies the husband. ...


1 Commenti, 186 Visite, 8 Voti ,3.01 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
at dinner   16/1/2011

A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress (taking another order at a table a few paces away) suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

Still, the woman dining ...


1 Commenti, 139 Visite, 2 Voti ,3.81 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
show me the money   16/1/2011

A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't be on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first ...


1 Commenti, 107 Visite, 1 Voti ,2.40 Punteggio
7_inches_4_u916 26 U
8  Articoli
first time swallowing   8/1/2011

ill never forget the time i had this hot girl swallow for me. the look on her face was priceless. so innocent but so confused LOL.


0 Commenti, 181 Visite, 0 Voti
Tres mujeres...   3/1/2011

Tres mujeres, una con un amante clandestino, la segunda con novio, y la tercera casada, deciden poner a prueba una técnica de seducción.

Deciden que las tres, esa misma noche, usarán bodies de cuero negro, medias negras de liga, tacones aguja de 20 centímetros, y una máscara negra para recibir a sus hombres.

Al día siguiente, se reúnen a comparar experiencias:

La ...


4 Commenti, 160 Visite, 14 Voti ,3.94 Punteggio
Tres hombres   2/1/2011

Estaban tres hombres en el infierno, a los cuales el demonio impuso tres penitencias:

1º Matar a un león a ostias. 2º Hacer el amor con una mujer 20 veces seguidas. 3º Tomarse 5 litros de orujo.

El que pasara estas tres pruebas se iba al cielo.

Primero entra un alemán con sus aires de grandeza y dice: A ver, tráiganme a la mujer. Empieza : 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, y sale ...


1 Commenti, 92 Visite, 10 Voti ,4.58 Punteggio
Cruelhammer 58 U
8  Articoli
Size Doesn't Matter   1/1/2011

A couple had been dating for about a month, but the guy was afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ.

Finally one evening, he gets up his courage, and takes her to lovers' lane. While they are making out, he opens his zipper and places her hand on his penis.

"Stop! How dare you!" the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."


1 Commenti, 304 Visite, 7 Voti ,3.80 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
marriage proposal   27/12/2010

When asked if there was anything they would have changed about one of the most romantic moments of their lives, several women said a 'bigger diamond!'

54% of men still get down on one knee. 44% of men ask their partner's father for permission to marry. 57% of men cry when she said yes. 65% of women say he could have put more effort and preparation into the proposal. 25% of couples wait ...


1 Commenti, 128 Visite, 7 Voti ,1.51 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
New Years Eve Dream   26/12/2010

Janice was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you think it all means?'

'Aha, you'll know tonight, ' answered Max smiling broadly.

At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Janice and handed her small ...


1 Commenti, 132 Visite, 3 Voti ,3.92 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
New Years Eve Party   26/12/2010

Trevor's New Year's Eve party was an annual occurrence with numerous guests arriving. During the evening, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led to where the drinks were, in the kitchen. He sat there happily, chatting away, for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. 'You know, ' he confided to Trevor, 'I wasn't even ...


2 Commenti, 133 Visite, 3 Voti ,3.92 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
the Maple Leaf   24/12/2010

After being escorted to the witness box and sworn in, the little old man was asked by the lawyer to explain what had happened. He described the events that led up to the incident and finally got to the main issue of the case, saying, "..and that's when she hit me with a maple leaf!"

"Surely that couldn't have inflicted any serious injury on you, sir, " the lawyer said.

"Are you ...


1 Commenti, 116 Visite, 2 Voti ,3.12 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
Who Makes the Coffee   24/12/2010

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, "You're in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that's your job. I can just wait for my coffee."

The wife replied, "No ...


3 Commenti, 131 Visite, 5 Voti ,3.80 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
Tom and Linda   24/12/2010

Tom was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge.

He turned to his wife Linda, with a look of question on his face.

"I'll never understand why the biggest shmucks get the ...


1 Commenti, 111 Visite, 2 Voti ,3.12 Punteggio
_JKH_ 69 U
858  Articoli
Night of the black strap on !   18/12/2010

I picked up this 6 ft tall knockout of a brunette back in the late 70's in a disco one mild winter night. She lived in a two story apartment townhouse with her bedroom upstairs. Just as sweet as she could be seemed like. Was always licking her lips like Cher.

After we had sex (and it was great too) she went into her bathroom and came out wearing a big black strap on dick that looked ...


5 Commenti, 280 Visite, 15 Voti ,3.13 Punteggio
josmith5 61 U
1466  Articoli
Larry asnd Susan   17/12/2010

The barn at Larry and Susan's farm burned down, and Susan called the insurance company. Susan: "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money." Agent: "Wait just a minute, Susan... it doesn't work quite like that. We will determine the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." Susan, after a pause: "I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband"


1 Commenti, 166 Visite, 1 Voti ,5.00 Punteggio
mzphatphat 38 D
6  Articoli
well get this   16/12/2010

ok well me and a "friend" waz you know doing the dam thing when he went down on me and boy was it feeling good till he stoped and said as he grabed my lips and said im the pussy monster and i have come to invade the town of penis! got to love him!


3 Commenti, 184 Visite, 4 Voti ,3.25 Punteggio